UPDATE: I fought the agency at NCAT and won — and their evidence was basically a work of fiction 📚
Remember my backsplash saga? Buckle up because this one has twists, fake invoices, a mysteriously absent agent, and a garden that never existed.
First, mediation: The agent called me 5 MINUTES before the session to say he'd been in a car accident. Sir, the audacity. Not wanting to be a monster, I let it proceed over the phone. Big mistake. This man showed up to mediation with absolutely zero proof of completed works, didn't know the unit had already sold in December, and had the nerve to try negotiate a payment from me. From ME. The victim. The one who was nearly scammed out of $1,000 for a crack that was apparently just vibing there on the wall.
The mediator, bless their heart, was basically just trying to get everyone to shake hands and go home. They kept hinting I might "end up paying more" if we went further. I said $100. Final offer. Take it or leave it. They left it. Evidence orders were issued. And THIS is where God said "let there be chaos."
The invoice from hell (and the agent's favourite word: TYPO):
- Dated December 4th. Agent couldn't produce it on January 7th. Where did it go? "Typo." 🙃
- Quote addressed to the owner. Invoice addressed to the agent. Completely different people. "Typo."
- ABN on the invoice? Belonged to the owner's family trust. Not even registered for GST. "Typo."
- Works listed as completed before mediation — except the invoice said they were done January 9th. Two days AFTER. When confronted, the agent said he "couldn't recall" what he said during mediation because it was verbal. This man invented selective amnesia on the spot. When pressed further? You guessed it. "Typo." 🧠
- First invoice had the wrong address. They sent a corrected one a month later — still dated the original date. "Typo." The word was doing SO much heavy lifting at this point it deserved its own invoice.
- And my personal favourite: a line item for "treat garden." THERE. WAS. NO. GARDEN. 🌿 Not a pot plant. Not a patch of grass. Not even a weed. Nothing. They billed for a garden that existed only in their imagination. I can only assume this too was... a typo.
At this point I'm convinced the agent's keyboard only had one functioning key and it spelled T-Y-P-O.
The outcome: Claim dismissed. Reasons included wear and tear, the cracked wall, and — shockingly — the absolute dumpster fire of an invoice they submitted as evidence.
And the nail in the coffin? I checked with the new owners. The crack was never fixed. Not one tradie. Not one visit. $1,000 for absolutely nothing.
They tried to commit to the bit and the bit did not commit back.
Takeaways:
- Check your invoices like you're auditing a crime scene
- Email everything — agents get sudden amnesia when things go verbal
- If someone bills you for a garden you don't have, you're probably going to be okay in tribunal
- If your agent's explanation for everything is "typo" — you're already winning
Now tell me — what can I actually do about this agent? Because apparently fraud is just a very expensive typo. 😅