u/Conscious_Bug1610

The day I left out of state to go to my grandpa's funeral last september, my partner ordered sex toys online. Butt dildos and a penis cage. I found out at 2 a.m. tonight because I was looking through our Amazon account for some art supplies I'd previously ordered.

He is not very forthcoming sexually. He doesn't even initiate anything. He never brings up that he's horny. He is never in the mood when I initiate. He ​​used to be subscribed to a bunch of onlyfans creators, and I think he watches porn when I go to bed at night.

I am very open to his unusual lifestyle and kinks. I accept things about him that I don't think most partners would. He is an adult baby diaper lover, which I have an active role in participating in when he feels like it. It is not my personal cup of tea, but I accept and love him as he is.

The main thing I am upset about is that he hid the toys from me. He hides things from me all the time like he's a guilty child. I have never scolded or judged him, and I have no idea where it's coming from. I am always open about how I love him unconditionally. I dote on him all the time. We never argue or raise our voices.

I am incredibly upset that he decided to wait until I was out of state and mourning the loss of my grandpa to order these things. I feel disrespected as a partner, and as someone who was going through the grieving process. I think there's a time and a place for these things, and that was not it. I don't really know how to handle this.