How do you deal with lack of your family’s support? Specifically your mom/parents? My husband has been 100% on my side through everything, and my father in law has been too. (My dad and my mother in law have passed away so we each only have one living parent.) I guess to make a long story short, my husband and I decided to tfmr for Wolf Hirschhorn Syndrome (as you may have seen by my previous post on here) and we knew as soon as we got the diagnosis we would not continue the pregnancy. My mom and I have always been close, but our political beliefs have started putting a large strain on our relationship. To be clear: I cannot afford to cut off any of the few family I have left, they are the little bit of village we have outside of daycare. But when my mom found out I had even thought about termination, she got upset with me. She didn’t outright argue with me, but I could hear in her voice that she thought I needed to just go on with the pregnancy and let whatever happened, happen. We made an appointment to terminate the pregnancy on the 27th, and the 28th & 29th of April we went through the procedure. The hardest, most incredibly difficult thing I’ve ever had to do, but the dr reassured me that he was very severely affected by the syndrome and likely would not have survived infancy, if even after birth. They said he was even smaller than what he had been measuring on the ultrasound. I have never been so devastated.. I told my mom I was going to go to the dr over some concerns that I was having, and while I did not lie about some of the issues I had going on (I was in constant pain in my side, I just felt very sick and weak, he wasn’t moving as much as I’d liked) I didn’t tell her I was terminating, I just told her there was no heartbeat and we’d lost the baby. She was so upset for me on the phone but when we got home, she was very cold to me for some reason and was not comforting at all. At first I thought it was because maybe she’d been overwhelmed with all the kids but idk. Then she asked me why I had never found out my room number at the hospital and I told her I just had been moved around a lot and by the time I was in one room I was overwhelmed with people coming in and talking to us and trying to figure out what was going on that by the time we finally got peace and quiet it hadn’t crossed my mind. I know she doesn’t 100% believe me but idk what else to tell her. She hasn’t brought it up again and she wouldn’t outright call me a liar but I’m equally annoyed and hurt that she’s not as supportive as I’d hoped.. has anyone been in a similar situation? Sorry this post is so long, but I’ve told almost NOBODY what actually happened.
u/Conscious-Spinach-63
My whole pregnancy has been measuring almost 2 weeks behind since my very first appointment. Fast forward to our anatomy scan, we were diagnosed with SIUGR and a unilateral cleft lip and palate. They sent us to MFM and at their scan confirmed, and asked if we would consider doing an amniocentesis. We agreed and the results came back with Wolf Hirschhorn, an 18.0 deletion on the 4th chromosome. He is on the moderate to severe end of this deletion, and we (my husband and I) feel as though he would not have a good quality of life. I guess has anyone terminated for a chromosomal abnormality that isn’t technically fatal? Most of what I’m seeing are people with a fatal fetal abnormality. I’m struggling with the idea of this but there’s so very little information about this syndrome and such a wide variety of issues they can have. Most of my family do not agree with my decision to terminate. While I know it is the best decision for my family (we have 3 other kids already) this is not easy at all. I found a clinic 3 hours away who will do it at my gestation (25+4 weeks) but I still need to try to come up with travel, hotel, and the remainder of the procedure. I am so stressed out and so ready to be done with this. This whole pregnancy has been no joy at all, with constant worrying about his growth and development and I am just so fucking sad and angry this is happening to me. A 1 in 50,000 and we just so happened to be the 1. I guess im asking, did anyone else here terminate for something not fatal and know they made the right choice?