Post Update:
Edit*: corrected that we are in a HCOL area. Not VHCOL.
Edit*: Asked for an emergency meeting with my lender today to see implications of cancelling the sale. I think I lose $10K in earnest money.
*Edit: 34M/F. Moved from HCOL to HCOL state to be the primary caregiver of my 2 adult parents. This home had a buyer fall through which is why we stepped in to the situation (but were not planning to buy a house until September). We are first time homebuyers. This home was built in 2026 as we are not handy and cannot fix anything.
*Edit: This house is a 4 min drive (and 1.2 mile run) to my parents house which was the most important thing. The primary hospital and doctors offices are a 7 min drive. I have already vetted the Nursing homes, Assisted livings, and Memory Care Facilities in the immediate 15 minute radius as well. This house also has a ground level entry without any steps to enter (w/c accessible) with a ground floor bedroom and bathroom.
Edit*: I am stubborn and initially declined financial assistance from my parents. Based on a lot of these comments I think we will need to accept the assistance at this time. Currently, we do not pay any rent and if one of use were to lose our jobs we are able to live in my parents primary residence where we currently live. We are newlyweds and I need to get my Wife out of this house for her sanity and our marriage.
Have been running the numbers and am starting to get cold feet on the home we are about to purchase. I feel like our DTI will be too high. We are pretty cash-strapped going into closing. We both have pay increases coming but that will only bump us up to 191K.
Purchase Price: $564k
Down payment: $86400
*Edit: Down Payment assistance offered: $100K
Loan Amount: $479400
Interest rate: 6%
Property Tax: $11220/yr
HOA: $3480/yr
Homeowners Insurance: $1743/yr
PMI: $480/yr
Mortgage Payment: $4285
*Edit: Cash to close: $50K (should I divert some of this to 20% down payment instead?)
Savings: $50K
*Edit: Retirement: $140K (we started late; trying to catch up)
*Edit: Emergency CD year 4 of 5: $157,000 (Don't ask this was gifted; CD would not have been my idea; I don't want to break the agreement; Funds available Aug '27)
Monthly Budget
Take Home: $9500 (includes retirement contributions)
Mortgage: $4285
Monthly Expenses (i.e. food, home goods, cell, petrol, subscriptions, gym, insurance): $1449
House Savings: $1000
Emergency Fund: $1000
Principal Payment: $1000
Utilities: $515
Balance: $250
*Edit: Financial assistance offered: up to $1K/month.
Seems we have no wiggle room left at the end of the month which makes me extremely nervous. Do not want to end up house poor. I am considering getting a side job to help supplement some income. Is this going to be a huge mistake?
Edit: Thanks for all the comments and helpful insights. Sorry still learning reddit will try to answer all the comments. I added additional context above which may help clarify my situation more.
It does seem I am headed for financial ruin with this decision. I have been offered financial assistance that I initially declined but appears will need to rely on at least for the next 2-3 years. I added all the additional funds available.