Help me to describe this spiritual experience
My grandmother has had dementia and slowly declined over the last several years. She was walking up until this week. We live apart.
Yesterday, I just had gnawing anxiety for no reason. I had a great morning- I worked out, gardened, but I just could not relax and could not figure out why. So much so, I assembled an entire piece of furniture that took 3 hours, rearranged furniture, washed and clothes- more than I needed to. Made a Goodwill pile—- but nothing relived the sense of anxiety, restlessness I was feeling.
At 9 pm, I got the call that she had an abrupt change in status. Suddenly she is laying down and not responsive. As of this morning she entered active dying. Again- I had no reason to think this was coming. She was just walking and nothing overtly medically wrong. Come to find out, when I was experiencing that gnawing anxiety that lasted for hours, she was very anxious, agitated and they were having trouble settling her at the nursing home (for hours).
I have deconstructed from evangelical Christianity, and want to believe in another existence but am struggling to build my own belief system. I would love for your opinions/thoughts on what I believe to be a spiritual experience above. Thank you in advance