I can't stop overthinking. I can't stop thinking over the next step. It gets to a point where I just avoid responsibilities altogether. I'm similar when interacting with others. I shouldn't act this way. I understand it's soley my fault.
I'm about to graduate high school and I regret deeply taking concurrent classes because all I want right now is a fresh start. I want to retake anatomy and physiology 1 to strengthen my understanding but my parents won't let me. They say it'll set me back a year and that grades are what matters most. But I feel like I understand nothing. I don't want to form a habit of retaking classes, but I also don't want to set myself back long term. I feel so stuck on that. It's so dumb to complain about this. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel so damn dumb. Everytime I try to share an honest thought with someone I'm told I'm being irrational or overthinking. I sought a therapist once but she thought everything was okay with me and brushed off everything I mentioned because it wasn't important. I don't trust myself anymore. I don't trust my choices. I dream of disappearing or stabbing through my skull to stop everything. I hate that this is normal. I don't want it. Does the irrational dread ever stop?