u/Conscious-Can6668

For years my husband has done BS things and never really apologized and swept things under the rug and we move on… talked to other girls via phone never in person.. chatted in appropriately with an ex and phones calls a month after we were married it was before too I just happened to find out after. He never apologized he listened to me talk shit and that was it we moved on. Life keeps having BS we have three bonus kids and we’ve had drama with 2. I’ve been left out of things as far as what’s going on with them . My son came to live with us and it was great till it wasn’t I was the only one taking care of him and he became a handful with behavior so he left. There was never a “I appreciate you” just here’s my kid take care of him no calls from mom nothing.. one of our kids doesn’t really deal with him told him she feels like he doesn’t care about her but they both don’t make the effort for a relationship. Yes he pays the bills makes things happen if we need them too I’m stuck at home with no job because his job requires him to be gone and we have no assistance with the youngest as far as someone being home when she’s out of school or to take to practices etc.. I want to work but we live in a small town and well things are limited.. there’s been disconnect for a while on my end and he doesn’t see it he thinks life’s okay until I snap and talk shit.. So things have gone off the rails because recently he found out that he had a child but was always told it wasn’t his. Now she’s old enough to realize he is her dad. She’s one of the three bonus kids and that’s not the issue the issue is he never really on the past let me know things about the other kids like what they had going on till after something happened or a family member would tell me now he’s trying to keep me in the loop about the “new child “ and I feel like it’s not genuine.. because he didn’t in the past.. with all that said he planed to meet her and thought to ask me in the middle of it would I like to come I said yea if that’s what you want.. I felt like an after thought because they had the convo and kinda had a plan to meet before he even asked if I wanted to be apart of it.. So it kinda triggered me and I went off about how he just constantly lays things on my shoulders and I take it like a champ and move on verbal/ emotional infidelity (if that’s a thing) not taking accountability etc.. and now we’re thinking abut divorce because I’m not happy and he says I make everything about me.. not true nothings ever about me it’s always about what more he can unload on me.. I admit I was wrong for off loading at time when he was going to meet his kid he thought was his for a long time.. )he’s met her when she was teenager she just didn’t know he was her dad.) I’m ranting and all over the place but I’m not sure what to do because well I love him but I’m hurt by past and present shit and I don’t know if I should stay or go…