u/Connect_Principle_47

okay, so basically, let me get this straight, I had a really intimate moment with this guy, that i dont even know if i’m dating or not, but yeah it was really intimate, and it was my first. after that, he suddenly became really weird and distant, and i was getting really anxious and stuff, he was also always with his friends because i could see him posted up with them. then, few days later he texted me apologising for the fact that he couldn’t really give me the attention i deserve, saying his mental health is rigged and exams are killing him, and i told him i’d be there for him of course, i was trying to give him all of my energy, my support and my presence, but it felt like he didn’t want it at all, i felt like a total beg, i texted first every single day, and when i didnt, we wouldn’t talk at all. so it felt really draining caring for someone who doesn’t really care for your care. so i asked him, ‘hey did i do something wrong, because you’ve been acting weird lately…’ and he explained everything to me, saying how he gets distant whenever he starts liking someone, and how he’s feeling shittier than usual, and i genuinely felt pretty shitty and stuff reading it because i was so overwhelmed, i had to put my feelings aside and put his first, it’s kinda always like that, i analysed that most of the things he was mentioning made me realise he’s an avoidant and i told him that. he thanked me for making him realising who he was, saying i understood him more than anyone, and i felt really touched. I thought things were gonna be okay after that, but not really. I still felt like a beg, begging for his attention but i’m really trying to be there for him, trying to help him out of the hole he’s in right now, but it’s really destroying my sanity and i feel miserable, I’m overthinking every single day and my energy feels really sucked up. I want to be here for him, but at the same time i’m alone and i really need him as well but he’s never here for me emotionally, i try to give hints such as asking him to call, let alone forming a conversation with himself itself is me begging for his presence. I’m trying to improve myself by trying to stop overthinking, i’m already understanding enough and letting most things slide, but sometimes it feels really draining. what should i do?