Hi everyone,
I’m an INFJ in my early 20s. I met an ISTJ at university—he’s a few years older and was my teacher. At first, he was simply kind and helpful, and that was it.
As the semester progressed, we got to know each other better. After class, he would often wait for me and we’d leave together. He asked me questions about myself—my age (and then commenting "we're not that far apart"), interests, and so on. He was also a bit goofy, would make jokes, and I’d laugh. He was an excellent listener and remembered even the small details I shared. One time when I didn’t come to class, he emailed me to ask if I was coming—which is definitely not common in my program, as it’s quite secluded. I’d also catch him smiling at me when I was deep in thought working on a problem.
One day after class, we said goodbye and went our separate ways, but then he mentioned he was walking in my direction, so we walked together. During that walk, he opened up about not feeling aligned with his current path and trying to find his way. As an INFJ, I’m naturally good at mirroring people and their energy, and I genuinely enjoy listening—but talking with him felt especially meaningful. In some ways, I inspired him to feel more, and he grounded me. Another day, when it was raining, he held his umbrella over me and we walked together.
Unfortunately, I didn’t signal my interest—partly out of shyness and partly out of respect for the professional environment. I have a strong sense that he saw me as kind and bubbly, which I am.
After exams were over (no more teacher-student boundary), I emailed him asking if we could meet, mentioning that I wanted to talk to him about something. He replied within a few days, saying he was busy but available the following week. I was also busy, so it worked out well.
The next week, a few unexpected things came up for me and I had to postpone. He was understanding and told me to email him when I was available. We have been communicating consistently. He replied on the same or next day.
The last time I emailed him with my availability. I haven’t received a reply (it's been over a week).
From what I know, he’s very honest and straightforward (he's great with boundaries), and I believe that if he didn’t want to meet, he would say so directly. I understand it’s summer and he may genuinely be busy, as he mentioned—but I’m unsure whether I should send a follow-up email or simply move on.
I’d really appreciate your honest thoughts. I don’t fall for people easily, but I can’t help admitting that I felt something deeply meaningful with him. I’d like to believe he may have felt something similar.
Thank you!