SPOILERS Lost you forever is one of the best shows I've watched
SPOILERS
This is gonna be long so bear with me haha.
So I finally decided to watch Lost You forever after putting it off because I thought I wouldn't like the premise of 4 MLs and one girl. I'm so happy I did, because this show turned out to be a 10/10, and I don't tend to rate something a 10 lightly. Not because the story was amazing, storywise it's probably an 8. Season 1 being a lot better than 2, but it never nosedived like a lot of dramas tend to do in the second part. This show was definitely heartbreaking and frustrating to watch, but worth it.
The reason I'm rating this a ten is purely because of one character: Xiang Liu. In all my years of watching dramas never have I connected this much with a character before. He had me waiting till he was on screen again, stealing every scene he was in. All my respect to Tan Cian Ji for portraying this complex character in such a wonderful way. I watched 62 episodes of this show because of his portrayal of Xiang Lu.
The character development he went through was nothing short of amazing. He started out as a heartless demon general, even hurting our FL several times by whipping her, dropping her out of a tree, drinking her blood etc. After a while though, he kept looking for her company, I think because she made him feel less lonely. Everyone was afraid of him and mocked him for being a 9 headed demon, yet she was bantering with him and he let her made fun of his 9 heads because he knew she didn't think less of him. They opened up to each other and had many deep conversations, she told him she had nowhere to go and couldn't protect herself nor could she rely on anyone, which he took to heart and later on made sure that she had all those things.
He willingly planted the love bug into his heart for her. At that moment I was afraid it wouldn't accept him, but it did and they were tied together by love very early on in the show. I had hope then it meant a happy ending for them. What made it frustrating to me is that he did so much for her but she never knew nor appreciated it. Of course, it was his choice not to let her know what he did and that makes him such a great character, but I still wish she knew. He saved her life for 40 years by cutting into his heart, she was there as a ghost, she should've seen his devotion and love yet when told he did it for a mountain as a transaction she just accepted that and never even thanked him. He gave her a bow made of rare materials which had been forged for 40 years and he never told her. Everytime he felt through the love bug that she was sad or in danger he would rush over to save her or to cheer her up by taking her out, doing the things she loved the most like going to underground places or eating. When she found out she was the daughter of that supposedly evil demon and was inconsolable, he made her feel better by sharing his story and writing on that lamp to make her realize she should trust her mother's judgement. She felt better after that, something Tushang Jing and Xiang Cang couldn't do for her. It's because she only had deep conversations with him that he understood her and the other two didn't.
He loved her selflessly because he knew he wasn't right for her, she told him she was afraid he would enter her dreams so he didn't dare. Her mother and father were the proof of how enemies end up eventually, destined for a tragic ending. He wanted safety and happiness for her and didn't want to abandon her by dying so he never once indulged in his feelings for her. He let her believe that he was a heartless demon for her sake. The cause he was devoted to and wanted to see through til the end, couldn't be abandoned by him even though I wish he did and became a king in the end.
I spend the whole show waiting for glimpses that showed that she loved him, but I feel like it never really happened. There were moments that I feel could've changed everything, but he never took advantage of them because he knew he wasn't right for her. One of the moments was after she got engaged and he congratulated her. She asks him "don't you want to say anything else to me", as if she's hoping he would open up but he replies "what should I say" and the moment passes. After that she asks him who he thinks she should marry. I was screaming at the tv TELL HER "ME", but he replies "how should I know". This broke my heart every time, cause I never got the closure I wanted. I respect him for his choice of seeing the war through, but I wish she just knew he had sacrificed two of his lives to remove the love bug. I wish she knew he brought Jing back to her after he was lost, that he saved her life because he loved her not because of a transation, that he gave her the bow and taught her to protect herself because he couldn't in the future. I wish he had confessed and even if he was turned down, at least it was some closure.
My favorite moment was when she was about to marry Feng Long and she waited by the ocean in a wedding like red dress, while he was dressed in red too. She saw snow over the ocean and stood up hopefully, but he never came. Once again their chance had passed.
I was happy for him he got to die the way he wanted to. She said she wouldn't cry for him when he died, but she ended up crying after finding out he had erased the memories from the mirror. The moment he saw she had him saved there and he smiled broke my heart. I was happy he got to see how much he meant to her for her to keep those memories, I believe he knew she loved him even though she couldn't allow herself to admit that. Imagine if she already loved him without knowing what he sacrificed for her, how much she would've loved him if she knew all that he did for her. But we never got to know because he didn't want her to fall for him and have to choose between her brother and him or have him abandon her by dying.
Another moment that stood out to me was when he was questioning her with his powers and she admitted she was willing to marry Ye Shi Qi. When he asked her who she wanted to spend her life with though, she never replied and got a headache. As if she was fighting the answer. I like to think that she was thinking of him at at moment, but we'll never know.
Long story short, he was a complex character who loved her so selflessly and never allowed himself a chance with her but provided everything for her to end up safe and happy. I believe he did the most for her out of all the ML and loved her the deepest, willing to sacrifice his own happiness for hers. I love him so much and once again all my praises go to the actor for portraying him so brilliantly and tragically. This is my favorite character out of all the dramas I've watched and I don't think there will be another one.
I also want to talk about the other two male leads. Xiang Cang Xuan was also a very tragic character. He had so much pressure on his shoulders and lived for his promise to protect her and because of that being with her became his obsession. He kept having to make choices that meant he would never be with her. Every time he had to marry he told her not to congratulate him, that was so heartbreaking. His confession when he was drunk was one of the best moments in the drama I think, the actor knocked it out of the park. He said he would get rid of all the women, he only wanted her and I was glad he confessed but it all came down to nothing cause they forgot because they were drunk. Then he almost confessed again before his marriage with Nian. She kept pushing him to marry her and told him she thought he would be happy, that also broke my heart for him and he almost confessed again but not quite. She should've known then though, that frustrated me a bit. He was hurting but she refused to see it. I was happy he realized he would choose the throne in the end and his life doesn't revolve around her, at least it was somewhat of a happy ending for him.
Then lastly, Tushan Jing. I can't explain how little I cared about this character. The other two male leads overshadowed him so much that it got me questioning my sanity why she insisted being with him. I loved him in the beginning when he wasn't Tushan Jing yet, he was loyal and loved her with all his heart. But that was it. He didn't have anything else going on besides loving her. He was a bland, boring character who never even had a deep conversation with the FL. After he became Tushan Jing he became gradually more boring and an empty shell. Both of the other 2 male leads said that he was indecisive and they were so right. He couldn't break up a fucking engagement for like 20 years after promising it several times. She said she wouldn't wait for anyone yet she was reduced to being his side chick, for what? I don't even understand why she loved him so much, he wouldn't abandon her yet he did when they tricked him into a marriage by his own fault for being too weak. He had zero personality, no banter with her like the other two he just loved her and pined for her for like a century. I don't get it. They were telling me this was a great live story but I just didn't see why they loved each other when they had zero chemistry or passionate moments like with the other two. Cang Xuan laid his heart out for her during his confession, Xiang Liu loved her by guaranteeing her happiness after he was gone and sacrificing himself and his feelings in the process. What did Jing do? Love can't just be about not abandoning someone (which he did but ok), love can't be about making loving that person your only personality trait. Yet the whole series I was supposed to buy their relationship, at least show me why they love each other so deeply. It was just montages of her and Jing standing next to each other and hugging. With Cang Xuan she went through so much, they laughed together and loved each other deeply and I could feel the passion. With Xiang Liu she had deep conversations, they looked at the moon and explored the sea, flew on Chubby, ate together, learnt archery together, explored underground places which she loved to do. They had banter, passion and I believe if he had allowed her to fall in love with him she would've chosen him. But I am not the writer of this show and I can't change things. Her choice of being with Jing is why I would rate this show an 8. It wasn't the great love story they make it out to be and had me bored after he became Tushan Jing.
It's hard to believe for me that a 3rd male lead stole the show so overwhelmingly that it had me watching 62 episodes just for him. I would've dropped it if it weren't for him. So I'm sticking with my 10/10 rating, because Xiang Liu made it worth it. And Cang Xuan made it worth it too in later episodes.
Thank you for reading!