Just like the title says I’m someone’s only friend but I really don’t want to be.
1.) backstory
We were really good friends in elementary school then I moved for to a private high school and they went to a public high school that everyone in my elementary went to. We lost touch for 4 years and then somehow in UNI became friends again. That’s when I found out that they had done a 100% personality switch. They went from being bubbly and outgoing funny and sweet. Now they are agoraphobic and they deal with multiple mental and physical health disorders. These disorders have made them stuck in HS and Middle school since that was the last time they had actual life experience…
2.) currently
My main problem is I’m their only friend but they aren’t fun to be around. When I talk to them it feels like I’m either reliving the past or being forced to talk about the random TikTok or twitter discourse that should never be said IRL. Or they’ll say something super depressing that I don’t even know how I’m supposed to respond to that? So I try to be positive, but it just feels weird. I can’t even say regular life experiences because it feels like I’m rubbing it in. How am I supposed to say that I’ve got three jobs, school, exercise, and a social life that I have to on a weekly basis while you have… none ? It also seems like they’re not even that interested in me? Like one time I tried to share my YouTube video with them on FaceTime and how I’m super excited about it and they fell asleep…. I feel like I’m the only one that doesn’t ignore them so I keep having to hangout and talk to them. I don’t see this progressing at all. The issues they have seem severe and stop them from interacting with the world normally. So it’s unlikely that they will branch out and become more mentally stable.
3.) where I’m also wrong
I carry feelings of animosity towards them. Basically, sometimes when they talk about their mental health issues, I become super apathetic. Because I’ve had similar mental health issues, but I can’t stop my life and curl into a ball and become super depressed because I have a lot of things to do. So it becomes difficult for me to understand their perspective. I understand why they have essentially pause their life. But even when I have worse, more life threatening things going on I I can’t stop my life. I have to work three jobs and I’m barely surviving. How do I stop these emotions or end this friendship