u/Confident-Run3556

I'm going to rant a little here, if you are a man who cooks and cleans, this doesn't apply to you and you shouldn't be offended. But I hate hate HATE the notion Zambians, and Africans at-large carry that cooking and cleaning are female gender roles. I know my reddit post won't dismantle centuries of systems, but it's worth letting some of you know that, as we develop, your sons will be left behind if you keep raising them to be dependant on women's labour.

The girls are waking up, albeit very slowly, but due to the global village, they are seeing their counterparts in other parts of the world. Don't underestimate how much of an impact that will have on our girls and young women in the coming decades.

We are seeing the West crying about boys being left behind, and the reason is because they are not preparing them for a changing world where women are quantifying their free labor within the home and society. Cooking and cleaning is a life skill that teaches you responsibility and cleanliness! It's got nothing to do with gender.

Taking the maid portion into account, I am still always taken aback by how many Zambian men don't know how to cook and clean, meanwhile many Zambian women also grow up with maids but MUST know how to cook and clean regardless, or she will be shunned. My brothers were taught how to do both, and so I always find it distasteful to see how some fail to do the simplest things. Some of them that know, will treat cooking for their family like a once in a while treat. Meanwhile, their working wife will come home from a long day at work, exhausted and still have to cook for him and his kids everyday. And then folks come on Reddit and ask why the divorce rates are getting higher. Marriage is work, but it shouldn't feel like slavery, please. You're supposed to be a team. It wouldn't kill a man to come home and prepare dinner for his family a couple nights a week. It's his family after all.

I saw a Zambian FB post that asked if a man is not working and the women is the breadwinner, should she still do the cooking and cleaning. All but one person said yes, so ridiculous. What is he contributing if he's not working and he's also not lifting a finger? That's a liability.

I know some parents who are ensuring their sons are equipped with these LIFE skills, but they are far and few. I'm always sure to praise them for challenging the status quo and not raising a man-child.

And I also want to ask, are most men leaving their family home to enter their marital home? Or are they spending time in their own space before? If it's the latter, then surely these are life skills he would already have? Because the former sounds like a nightmare to deal with, it's like adoption not marriage lol

Take this as an attack, I'm fine with that. But don't do your sons a disservice. Because I have a feeling that one day this conversation will be front and center, and you'll wonder why no one wants to marry your son. Teach them to be an active participant in a household and not a liability.

Parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, villages etc. please tell me who your kids favorite cartoons/characters are? From the kids in my own family, I know Bluey is popular in Zambia, but I need a comprehensive list for business purposes. So please do share!

EDIT: You're all focusing on my experience instead of sharing YOUR opinion on the wealth gap. I already understand my experience, I shared it for context, but I want to discuss the wealth gap and what it looks like socially. PLEASE respond to that, because that's why I asked. What is the wealth gap like with middle class vs wokring class, upper class vs middle class, and so on and so forth.

As someone who grew up in Western Europe, class (and subsequently wealth) was a big issue, bigger than race in most instances. Coming back to Zambia as an adult, beyond the obvious, I see it more and more here. I'm absolutely not victimising myself here, just sharing my experience. But I get overcharged for things a lot based on my appearance, even worse when I open my mouth. An unofficial black tax. I once passed through the market on my way out to lunch and the stares and snares I got from the marketeers was uncomfortable to say the least. I was dressed appropriately from head to toe before anyone wonders. I go to the car wash and they're telling me it's K100 for a normal car, meanwhile they charge K80 for 4X4. When I go to leave, suddenly the price comes down. If I'm being honest, I feel outcast at times for appearing wealthy (I'm not, just comfortable).

I could be wrong here, but I feel like there's an underlying animosity amongst the upper and middle class vs working class? Growing up abroad, it is a very known fact, they call it the North and South divide, and it's spoken about openly. I feel like in Zambia, it's less pronounced. It manifests in entitlement, "you have more so you should pay more or simply give me money because I'm poor"...

I saw an instagram video of a lady from Chibolya saying that the people stealing don't come from her compound, but actually come from ma yadi, specifically Kabulonga etc. It was funny but it spoke to something more in my eyes. I could also be projecting what I saw growing up abroad, onto the Zambian landscape, who knows.

I want to know from Zambians what the wealth gap looks like to you socially?