(F)
Havent spoken in a bit over a year and before that didn’t talk much cause we broke up and its a blur now. I felt I did the right thing and would only make her unhappy by staying idk…, she offered to be friends after the relationship and thats when I cut it off because we would be in an on/off dynamic like we always were
Her name popped up in my notifications yesterday from something and my heart dropped so bad
Im at this point I miss her very much she was one of my best friends and its my doing that we don’t even speak though it wouldve been painful for me to stay friends with i was in love with
I thought id moved on from it but theres times where it hits me like a truck. I genuinely believe shes the only person I ever actually loved but I can’t bring myself to bother her by messaging her. Feels so pathetic to still be stuck in those moments. I just can’t make my feelings go away takes everything in me not to be a hypocrite and reach out just to hear her voice again and send the most embarrassing message. I cant even say how just genuinely pathetic it feels to think about it like this.
Its driven me to insanity to know she probably doesnt want a conversation with me ever again