Guys... Plsss help 🙏
I don't really know how to explain this... Ever since I was a kid, I had been terrified of exhaust fans in bathrooms. I don't know why I fear it so much, and I often try to remember if I had a traumatic incident, but as far as I remember, I'm sure I don't have any.
Recently I found out that I was terrified of spiders and starfishes. Not because it looked disgusting, but because it had a similar shape. Also, those big fans in big halls will also scare the shit out of me. But I'm completely okay with ceiling fans with three blades. But when it's 6 blades, I'm again scared. I realised that it's the pattern that's making me feel uneasy. Blades extending from a common centre.
This has made my daily life very uneasy. I avoid going to any friend's house or relatives', and even if I go, I rarely ever use the bathrooms. Even if I'm at the extent of peeing my pants, I still refuse. It's hard for me to use any bathrooms with exhaust fans. I try to avoid long trips as well. Even if I enter a bathroom with one in it, I just close my eyes and do my stuff, and I often end up wetting my pants. I'll have one of my brothers stand near the door. And it's worse if I look around and didn't spot one anywhere, and I enter the bathroom thinking it's safe, and I find it high above or behind the door or smth i just freeze, or I try to run away.
I don't know what to do or how to overcome this. The worst part is that no one tries to understand me. My parents think I'm just being immature and that it's a simple thing, and I'm just overdoing it. My brothers just make fun of me, not knowing how hard things are. And I never really told any of my friends or relatives, fearing being judged.
Idk what to do... Please help me. Any suggestions are highly appreciated. And please let me know if there is anyone else like me out there. It would be a great relief. 🙏