u/ComunCoutinho

▲ 148 r/GachaHusbandos+1 crossposts

Battle lines

1st Ascension 2nd Ascension 3rd Ascension
Level Up 1 Hmph. You paid your taxes sufficiently. Hmph.
Level Up 2 Oh. Good. Bring me more. Is there any point to this?
Level Up 3 More. What are raising my Saint Graph for? I accept it.
Battle Start 1 The conquest is afoot. I don't need to stain my own hands. Just shadows should suffice. You bar my path? How tragic.
Battle Start 2 Why such haste to rot? What is it now? Another plebeian insurrection? This strife is meaningless. What drives your refusal to understand me?
Battle Start 3 Why rush to your deaths? Why deny the joys of age? Temperamental cruds. Are you that fond of bloodshed? You won't be recorded in history. Only vanish like vapor.
Battle Start 4 My name is Black Lion. The heart within it, I've long devoured. Do whatever you want. I'll do it back to you. We aren't here to kill one another. Only to close the doors on each other's histories.
Skill 1 Deliver me death. The peasants are vermins. This deserves no words.
Skill 2 Make thyself and thy blood part of the wasteland. The nobles are also vermins. Here is the guidepost to the divine.
Skill 3 Salvation is unneeded. And me? I'm fodder to the vermins. I am... still... me...?
Skill 4 Ah... Round Table! Sun! I'll show you how fodder fights back. Not yet... It is still further...
Skill 5 Hear the roar of the Black Lion! Get away. Are you trying to get corrupted? I am not yet fulfilled.
Skill 6 Here is where light comes to decay. Sigh... What are you people trying to accomplish? A tyrant? Fine by me.
Command Card 1 Hmph. Hmph. No objections.
Command Card 2 Idiotic idea. Barely decent. Fine.
Command Card 3 Passable, for thy standards. Fine, whatever. Understood.
NP Card 1 No dust or ash shall be left. You want to defile the land? Don't blame me latter. No storyteller remains.
NP Card 2 I cannot guarantee thy safety, Master. Fine. I'm game. Time fell to oblivion. This is our chance.
NP Card 3 No need to keep appearances, I see. Sure, I'll trust you. -
Attack 1 Let it fill thy heart and collapse under it. Too much taxation? You should be thanking me for reliving you of responsibilities. There is no hope in your verses.
Attack 2 Thou hath my permission to die. That's the power of money! Tax money! The story shan't continue.
Attack 3 Raise thy head. I can't even bother acknowledging the stones thrown my way. None will hear your screams.
Attack 4 Show thy face. Watch out for stray fire. The land tells no tales.
Attack 5 Be gouged. Be pierced, and explode. Tread your path, do nothing more.
Attack 6 Raid. Hmph, this will hurt considerably. Wail for me.
Attack 7 Lower thy head. Hah! Can you keep up? Salvation comes not for the dead.
Attack 8 Patch the roads. Two can play your game. Him, not me, I mean. The winds mock all.
Attack 9 Be frozen. Have a fair and honorable... sneak attack. Sing the gospels for me.
Attack 10 'Tis a show of loyalty. What an insult. Sing blessings for me.
Attack 11 Dispatch the orders. A guillotine? No, thank you. Your journey bears no purpose.
Attack 12 Explode. An executioner? No, thank you. Shed blood bears no meaning.
Attack 13 OH... GRAAAH! Haha, dance for me, dance! Life and death are cyclical.
Attack 14 Excellently done. Thou are granted permission to perish. Accept this reward. The blades grow rust.
Attack 15 Thou hath my permission. Lay all bare. - -
Extra Attack 1 Here is thy reward. Fools! Your ilk deserves no land!! Your lives shan't be recorded in history.
Extra Attack 2 Kindly accept thy gravestone. I'll be collecting your land as a tax. The story of your souls shall never be told.
Extra Attack 3 - Land corruption. Take your time to savor it. -
Noble Phantasm 1 The oracle reveals the Magna Carta is no more, leading all kings, citizens, and nobles down the pits of nihil. See the true face of tyranny! The kind which invokes foolishness and grants ye no land to kneel on. The oracle reveals the Magna Carta is no more, leading all kings, citizens, and nobles down the pits of nihil. See the true face of tyranny! The kind which invokes foolishness and grants ye no land to kneel on. Inversio Libertatis Oraculum. Beyond the ends of time, mankind will be freed from both the tyrants and the unwashed massed. Incinerated world, take this moment to simply be charcoal and write thy history.
Noble Phantasm 2 Even the eternal sunshine mayn't illuminate the lands vanished into nihil. Sink. Expire. Rot. Drown in the interstice between life and death, alongside the poems ye composed. Deeper, ever deeper. What drives you to believe there is a tomorrow to the land trampled today? To believe light embraces you? There is no peace in the future! Not to you commoners! Not to me, the King! Not even to the gods! Achievements, folly, miracles, and tragedies all vanished, dissolved into the past. Know that the borders between the heroes and the common nobodies will be locked in this scroll, later to be carved into the bodies of thousands of storytellers.
Noble Phantasm 3 I needn't make my statement. Ye will perish regardless. Lackland? Sans Terre? You sure know how to run your mouths. I know perfectly well this is not what the names are supposed to mean, but what's more poetic than watching those who mock others suffering and dying from a pun like this? Numerous tales are passed down through humanity's generations, polished, and adapted into truths tailor-made for new eras. Not unlike the work of God. Ah, sorry for this nonsensical rant. It will all be over.
Noble Phantasm 4 - Did I hear you call me an imbecile? I am indeed. As such, the land will rot and hope will wither. You did nothing wrong, but you will die the most pointless death thanks to my foolishness! HAHAHA! SERVES YOU RIGHT! SERVERS YOU RIGHT! -
Damage 1 Ngh- Mrrrrr... What the... hell is... this absurd... attack... Even I am to be shattered to dust?
Damage 2 Nn. Nghah! Kh.
Damage 3 Thou hast penetrated my defenses!? No way... This can't be... Futile resistance...
Damage 4 Nngh... Cease this! Nngh...
Defeat 1 Yes... Ye and I are the same. Bound to return to the shadows. Hahah... What a pathetic ending. Laugh at me. Forget not. Naught happened here but the end of my history.
Defeat 2 Not yet. I shan't sink yet. From the outset, I have been... Damn thee, damn thee! I won't forget this pain. My vengeance will come. I promise. Your journey will also go untold by the one who thwarts you.
Defeat 3 Who was it who destroyed me? The Lion King? Or the lion-hearted? Sorry, Master. I'm leaving first. I see. This is where I expire.
Defeat 4 - Will I ever reach the same grounds as Richard? -
Victory 1 Ye shall know no victory or defeat. There shan't be anyone alive to tell thy tales. Oh, come on, buddy! I haven't even stepped off my throne. What a pointless slaughter. None will speak of this history.
Victory 2 I haven't the time to rot. I shall only descend into nihil. Tell me, how do you feel having lost to the king consider the worst in history? I shall be the only one to remember your strength.
Victory 3 Soldiers. Citizens. Enemies. Kings. All equally subject to decay. My job is done, Master. The rest is up to you. -
Victory 4 - There is nothing Richard can do that I cannot! -

1st Ascension

John Lackland (Black Lion) CV: Yamazaki Takehiko
Summon Kh... Kehe... Hahahahaha... You try to make a pawn of even my Saint Graph, Chaldea? How greedy can ye get? Greedy, yes, but not foolish, for your greed is what allowed ye to outlive your enemies thus far... Fine, then. I am Avenger. Ye may call me simply Black Lion.
Bond 1 Enemies. Deliver me enemies.
Bond 2 Chaldea will be a declared enemy of the world. That is my reason to go to battle.
Bond 3 I have nothing to say thee.
Bond 4 Give me commands, and nothing more. Thy words dull my soul.
Bond 5 Open not thy mouth. I shall grind all thine enemies to dust.
My Room 1 Enemies. We go.
My Room 2 There is no master and no servant here. Only a standing venturer and a carcass.
My Room 3 About thee, Master? I'll kill thee eventually.
My Room 4 (Arthurs) The King of the Round Table. Rally the march... Rally the march once more...
My Room 5 (Round Table except Gareth) The Knights of the Round. I shall again teach them the meaning of conquest!
My Room 6 (Gareth) Decayed porcelain, radiance made impure... Damn thee, Gareth, Gareth, GARETH!
My Room 7 (Richard) The heart of a lion... Laughable. Thou art but a fool, consumed by thy sobriquet and dancing to the tune of the plebeians. The world shan't forget thine honors and thine atrocities.
Likes What I find desirable? Fierce conquest.
Dislikes What I loathe? The laws of the world.
Holy Grail The Holy Grail... Once one reach mine hands once more, say thy final prayers.
Event I hope I may ignore the ongoing event.
Birthday Celebrate thy birth? Doth thou have the time to spare?

2nd Ascension

John Lackland (King John) CV: Koichi Makoto
Ascension 1 What's with the expression? Is my face this amusing? Stop staring, unless you want to see yourself sentenced to dismemberment. Consider me a half-stranger to the Black Lion. What we have in common is being a failure of a king. His sins are likewise my sins.
Ascension 2 I'll stay in this Saint Graph a while more? I don't know why I'm a Heroic Spirit with multiple prime ages, but it must be an effect of the Holy Grail, considering the multiple Singularities I've been through. Leave the interpretation there up to your team.
Bond 1 You must know I'm Avenger. You Chaldeans are included among my targets. Do well never to leave your back exposed to me.
Bond 2 and 3rd Ascension unlocked I possess many Saint Graphs, but I intend to stick to this one while in Chaldea. The Black Lion and the aged king are not the most talkative kinds. That said, give up all hopes of friendship.
Bond 3 You must be thinking of how different I am from my initial Saint Graph. The Black Lion is the symbol of my tyranny. As I stand now, I symbolize foolishness. Disappointed yet? It won't bother me. Although the lack of insults at my direction puzzles me.
Bond 4 Dogs often appear around me. Considering how often I went hunting in life, I can see their reason to follow me. I've seen their breed among Father's pets. It's a breed with more history than most assume. Although their size may have been adjusted in their summon to match modern standards.
Bond 4 + Id completion Don't worry, Master. When you head for the final battle, I'll find my moment to leave the ship. Like the other Avengers, I'll leave a shadow behind in the Saint Graph register, so use it to your best capacity.
Bond 5 Aware of my past misdeeds, you remain ever intent on treating me like any other of your Servants. And here I believed you excelled at seeing through people's lies and flatteries. You're a hopeless case. I see you require a lesson from the worst king ever himself. I'll teach how to pathetically and disgracefully flounder your way out of a terrible situation.
Bond 5 + Id completion My reason to align with the decision of the other Avengers? Don't ask for detail. Don't waste your thoughts musing on a hated failure. Unlike me, you have a team and a person you want to save. Well, the thing is... Don't mind me. If you need to cry, remember the dogs hanging around me and cry over their loss.
My Room 1 Get yourself ready to go collect taxes. I don't care if it's doors that drop money or creatures that drop materials. Seize them for my treasury.
My Room 2 at Bond 2- Servitude? I am king, and I won't abase myself for you, even if I am the most foolish of them all.
My Room 2 at Bond 3+ I already told you I won't abase myself for you. But I do understand the relationship between a Master and a Servant. Thus, erm... you see... the thing is... I can have you as a tea drinking companion, but that's as far as I'm willing to meet you halfway.
My Room 3 at Bond 4- Our relationship? What makes you think that's an appropriate thing to ask a fellow... (ahem) excuse me, what makes you think that's an appropriate thing for a peasant to ask a king? Fool.
My Room 3 at Bond 5+ You're my enemy. I'm merely postponing my duties while in Chaldea. So if you ever meet me outside Chaldea, don't hesitate to shoot me. I might still remember you due to the traits of my Class, but kill me regardless. Are we clear? See, making this face is exactly what gets me worried, fool!
My Room 4 (Richard) Is that... RICHARD!? Gh... Blaming Chaldea would be barking at the wrong tree... Even after death, the world remains intent on exploiting my brother's shadow as a disposable hero. Watch me escape, for I have nothing to say to my brother! Help me, Master! Stay alert, as if anything, Richard runs fast!
My Room 5 (adult Gil) You have even King Gilgamesh? The original king, and the Hero King himself? I see he's my opposite in every way... HAH, I'm astounded that you summoned me when you already had such an extraordinary king by your side, Master. Fine by me. One day I'll let him learn that even the worst king won't go down without a fight... One day, no plans for when.
My Room 6 (Bakin) So many... dogs... The Eight Canine Warriors? Heh... A-alright. I'm not fond of novelists, but I supposed I can open a fair exception and let your owner live. Hmm... ^(All I have on me is beef jerky. Here, boys. Don't fight over it.)
My Room 7 (Round Table except Gareth) The Round Table... No, they're not to blame for what my brother became... It's the fault of Mother and the troubadours who spread their tales, and Richard's own fault for letting the stories alienate him. I never saw them as role models. Not even once. Oh, shut up! How many times do I have to tell they never inspired me?
My Room 8 (Nobukatsu) Master! What is wrong with that Katsu fellow in the kotatsu room? He's completely nuts for his sister. Every time he opens his mouth, he's bragging about this Nobunaga. What's with your face, Master? What's so funny?
My Room 9 (Ivan) IVAN THE TERRIBLE! How dare you ignore my call...s... Hold on, wait... Why are you so tall and... imposing... Are you really human? I'm n-not afraid. Master! C'mon, t-tell him I'm not scared of him. Tell him "Long live John"!
My Room 10 (Robin) Robin... Robin, ROBIN, ROBIN HOOD! The May King! The No Face! The Blade of Sherwood! I don't care whether the one who directly defied me was you or another Robin, this calls for a duel! Kwahahahaha, I send Master as my proxy for our duel! Ouch! What are you doing, Master? Stop!
My Room 11 (Shakespeare) Shakespeare... I hear you wrote a drama centered around me. No, stop. I have no intention of reading it, nor I care for a summary. Cease this at once! Do not attempt to interview me for material! Do not attempt to reenact the play! Do not sound out the new verses you're in the middle of writing!
My Room 12 (Prelati) Oh, it's Prelati? Shoo, shoo, begone!
My Room 13 (Hippolyte) Hippolyte... Reading the books, I thought of her as a throwaway antagonist that only existed to give Heracles additional feats. Why, then, she carries herself with so much pride nonetheless? Oh... I get it... While we're both throwaway antagonists, she elevates her foil while I only lose for no one's benefit... Comparing us an insult to her.
My Room 14 (Gareth + event completion) That's... Gareth? No, worry not, Master. I don't resent her. The noble knight who killed me is dead. She there is another shadow without those memories. I know they have the same soul, but resenting her would be an insult to the woman who pierced me, that dreadfully radiant knight.
Likes What I like? Hah! Exactly what the rumors of the future generations say. Extravagant clothes! A luxurious life! Wine! Women! Gambling! Money! Jewels were a particular favorite of mine! My hobbies were music, reading, and hunting! And in none of those, I was better than Richard... Have you heard enough? Also... I like... dogs... They don't disdain of me...
Dislikes I hate my brother Richard. But never forget that I do not tolerate undue mockery of him, Master. Did you just think to yourself that I have an awfully difficult personality? OH, I DO INDEED. You have no idea how much I hate how difficult I am.
Holy Grail My wish for the Holy Grail? First, I'd get the healthy and wholesome kind of immortality, the one you can turn off whenever you want. Next, monetary treasure, as much as I can take without crashing the economy. Then, 100 million unconditionally obedient soldiers who require no food or sleep. Afterwards, I'd use it for decorating my room. What do you think? Modest enough?
Event There's something going on. Unlike me, you're well-liked. You have to at least go say hello.
Birthday Your birthday? I hope this expectant look in your face implies you also know when my birthday is. Whatever. I'll give you something. By the way, my birthday is on Christmas Eve.

3rd Ascension

John Lackland (Divine King Lackland) CV: Yamazaki Takehiko
Ascension 3 You have achieved me, Master? Both the self that caused all manners of atrocity in the fields of war and the self wet behind his years are equally facets of me. This Saint Graph here manifest is a soul wholly withered, remaining merely as a doll to be injected with divine power. You needn't trust me. My younger self will serve as a better conversation partner.
Ascension 4 Destiny always invoked fear in me. Even the Saint who survived the torture wheel was ultimately fated to beheading. I lived my whole life fearing the world. Yet, being frigthened of the mighty current couldn't extinguish my flames of revenge. Use me until I'm ash. You are capable of easing my fears, if momentarily.
Bond 1 In this Saint Graph, I have nothing to say to you. Nor have I the right to speak my peace. If you must converse, do it with my younger self.
Bond 2 Master, mine words mean nothing. They're but hogwash spilled from a withering vindicator. I have nothing worth hearing for Master of thy stature.
Bond 3 I was not a good king, father, husband, or son. Only one hopelessly incorrigible man told me I was a good brother. That is all.
Bond 4 Your interests are questionable. You must know my reputation in your times. This reputation is no error. Trust me not. Chaldea will become dilaped, much like my nation was. This is no matter of malice. Merely consequence of me being the fool.
Bond 5 There is little I can do. I am proficient in conventional legislature and governance, but lack the talents needed to improve a nation. If, knowing that, you still demand something from me, allow me to take action now before you burn yourself. Let your enemies... Chaldea's enemies... be burnt in a fool's flames.
My Room 1 Are you leaving, Master? I hope my blade proves useful in your march.
My Room 2 I'm no longer king or god, only a dreadful something. If you deign yourself to give me form as a Servant, I can only obey.
My Room 3 Our relationship? Friend or foe, every Master commanding Heroic Spirits serves as a guidepost. The path you guide me to might be one of glory, or one of ruin.
My Room 4 (Richard + event completion) I have nothing to say to my brother. It would shameful to show my face to him, although he would not care. Master, make not such face. In this Saint Graph, even my hatred for Richard ran dry. That is where the shame comes from.
My Room 5 (Georgios) Saint Georgios? I recall Richard spreading the tales of the dragon-slaying Saint upon returning from his expedition. In my eyes, that Saint symbolized execution, but here, I came to believe the story of him at the torture wheel was source of solace. Some realizations certainly come too late.
My Room 6 (Round Table except Gareth + event completion) The Knights of the Round. I thought the legends were nothing but legend, until the Round Table confrontied me on the battlefield... (sigh) I resisted them with all I had. I attempted every approach, atrocious or righteous, to conquer them. And without second thought, I would have done the same if given a new encounter with them in the battlefield. That is the only form of respect I am willing to offer to those who lived in the legends.
My Room 7 (Gareth + event completion) My flames of vengeance weren't meant to be directed at the Round Table. But, I still crossed blades with them, for they were obstacles in the way of my revenge. I do not regret it. However, the sublime knight consumed by my corruption... To have laughed off her resolve is one regret I will carry with me for eternity.
My Room 8 (any Rhongo Arthuria) My brother was said to have the heart of a lion, but the King of the Round Table was a complete lion. In her heart, soul, and conduct. Richard spoke much of the forebearer king that he yearned for and failed to reach, yet she was more than what he described. Even now, with my emotions withered, I still fear her.
My Room 9 (Morgan) Morgan. A faerie of the lake. The fae queen. I can tell at first sight. Yes, she, and only she, is Britain incarnate.
My Room 10 (Enkidu) Wisdom of the People? A Noble Phantasm that couldn't be more antithetical to me. The title of the other Noble Phantasm has grown ironic to my current self. It's the perfect Noble Phantasm title for one of the original travelers, the ones still capable of having any faith in the common people.
My Room 11 (Hippolyte) The queen of the Amazons. Impressive of you to continue fighting to overcome injustice, and to retain your pride, even after being crushed by the trickery of the gods. You shine brighter than what my eyes can endure.
My Room 12 (Prelati) Prelati... They are the opposite of me. They love human folly more than anyone. Meanwhile, I became what I am now because I couldn't withstand it. How ironic.
My Room 12 (Ephemeros) Ephemeral Fruit Spirit, I have no intention to apologize. Curse me if you will. I never desired forgiveness. However, I refuse to claim that your encounter with Master and your arrival in Chaldea were miracles. Be proud. You accomplished your aims.
Likes I often appreciated wine. However, despite my luxuries with clothing and implements, wine was different. Only cheap wine agreed with my palates. Perhaps my tongue was the only part of my that didn't attempt to reach beyond my stature.
Dislikes As I am now, I dislike nothing anymore. If pushed to name one thing, I would say I hate myself for my inability to extinguish the flames of revenge in spite of how withered I have become. Unlike with wood, my withering doesn't reduce me to ash faster.
Holy Grail The Holy Grail? Not something I still need. If you needn't yours, why not offer it to my brother's grave? Oh, I must say, my brother's remains were split into parts buried in different places, and you will not find any in England. Search carefully.
Event Hmm. There seems to be an event in place. You, the Master, should go greet the participants, to give them peace of mind.
Birthday You thank your birth and celebrate your growth. To be able to honestly do so is sublime. You won't become like me.
reddit.com
u/ComunCoutinho — 6 days ago

Summon

Francesca: Ahahahaha, hilarious. Oh, no, no, I'm not laughing with you, Master. I'm laughing AT you. You gotta have some screws loose to summon me of all people. I guess the first order of business now that I'm Chaldea is to steal your pile of Grails and kidnap you away? Our sweet e-lo-pe-ment trip! Sike!

François: Haha! No way you summoned me! Awesome one, Master! Be sure you won't regret it! I'll give you all the dreams of pleasure and delight you need to feel like you're in Heaven, then follow up with the spiciest nightmare soup to take you to Hell! ...But, eh, busy times we're living in, huh? Not to mention that a bunch of Hells already called dibs on you before I got here. Then I'll play nice and put on some work for the sake of mankind! Later, Master!

François's Battle Lines

CV: Uchida Maaya François Francesca
Asc 1/3 Battle Start 1 Are you our newest toys? Huh? We're fighting? What am I, a barbarian? Can we not?
Asc 2 Battle Start 1 "We are justice!", as the quote goes. Hey ya, friends! You guys are under arrest for obstruction of Human Order aid!
Asc 1/3 Battle Start 2 I swear to fight with honor! Sike. Did you buy your popcorn? You're here for one heck of a show!
Asc 2 Battle Start 2 You've seen me pass by earlier? That was, of course, also me. Did you know? Even Heroic Spirits go to jail these days.
Battle Start 3 Sigh, fine. I'll go die over there. Be right back. Sigh, fine. I can at least hold them back.
Battle Start 4 [1st Ascension only] Don't worry, Master. I'm quite fond of you. I'll do just what you asked for: Crash! The! Par-ty!
Skill 1 Coke rules! To the next scene! Go, go!
Skill 2 What's up next? Now it's getting fun!
Skill 3 Let's stake our lives! Are you hyped?
Skill 4 Sike! You guys rule!
Skill 5 Hahahaha? Are you insane? Pfft, stop! My pancreas and spleen are gonna swap places!
Skill 6 Oh, that's it! That's what I wanted to see! -
Command Card 1 There you go again... Can I? Really?
Command Card 2 Always a joker, you... Ooo, what a go-getter.
Command Card 3 I need a break! Oh, this will be fun.
Noble Phantasm Card 1 Huhuhuhu, you're into some nasty stuff, Master. Hahaha! Awesome! Perfect!
Noble Phantasm Card 2 Sure about that? The enemy will hate your guts. It's showtime!
Noble Phantasm Card 3 Kay. Be right back after some harassment. NO WAY! Can I? For real?
Noble Phantasm Card 4 Time for the afternoon cinema! -
Asc 1 Attack 1 Here goes the rocket punch! ...Hah, did you seriously believe? Let's hear today's weather report!
Asc 2 Attack 1 Resistance is futile and encouraged. Let's hear today's weather report!
Asc 3 Attack 1 My corruption corrodes you. Let's hear today's rainfall forecast!
Asc 1 Attack 2 Scissor cuts rock, I win. Note: Not true. Candy rain, candy pour♪
Asc 2 Attack 2 Watch out! It's gonna eat you! Candy rain, candy pour♪
Asc 3 Attack 2 Don't break on me just yet. Hmm, I wonder what this data is for?
Asc 1 Attack 3 It's showtime! Sit down and watch the flowers.
Asc 2 Attack 3 All operatives, open fire! Sit down and watch the flowers.
Asc 3 Attack 3 It's all yours. You'll be our next sacrifice.
Asc 1 Attack 4 Having fun yet? Can't we make peace?
Asc 2 Attack 4 Hands on your head! I'm still gonna shoot though. Can't we make peace?
Asc 3 Attack 4 Bring me fresh blood! A round of applause for our wonderful guests!
Asc 1 Attack 5 Mock Queen's Anne Revenge! This one's caramel-wasabi flavored.
Asc 2 Attack 5 Suppress the targets! Go, go! This one's caramel-wasabi flavored.
Asc 3 Attack 5 Meet yesterday's sacrifice! This one's caramel-wasabi flavored.
Asc 1 Attack 6 Get 'em, [bleep]buster! What was that? Butter with salt and habanero, coming in!
Asc 2 Attack 6 You have the duty to remain silent! Butter with salt and habanero, coming in!
Asc 3 Attack 6 We call this one "Spirit Invocation"! Butter with salt and wasabi, coming in!
Asc 1/2 Attack 7 Hello! Lunch time! Every day is my birthday!
Asc 3 Attack 7 You look tasty! Every day is Valentine's Day!
Asc 1 Attack 8 Happy Halloween! Here's your holiday gifts!
Asc 2 Attack 8 Are you a fan of shark movies? Here's your holiday gifts!
Asc 3 Attack 8 I choose you for today's sacrifice. Have an official Prelati Inc.© toy!
Attack 9 Prelati Punch! Oh no! No way! Don't kill me! Kidding!
Attack 10 I may forgive you, but my fist won't. Having fun yet?
Asc 1 Attack 11 Welcome to the Gallery of the Grotesque... wait, I'm going, too!? Sweet dreams.
Asc 2 Attack 11 Get yourself to jail! Sweet dreams.
Asc 3 Attack 11 You offer tribute to me, I offer tribute to you. Sweet dreams.
Asc 1 Attack 12 C'mon, let's wail together! It's time to d-d-d-d-dance!
Asc 2 Attack 12 Time to carry out your sentence. It's time to d-d-d-d-dance!
Asc 3 Attack 12 Let's get sacrificed together! It's time to d-d-d-d-dance!
Asc 1/2 Attack 13 Ladies and gentlemen, I bid you adieu! Hah, as if! Pop qquiz: which is the real me?
Asc 3 Attack 13 Ladies and gentlemen, I bid you adieu! Hah, as if! Watch out for which has a shadow. She could be the real one.
Attack 14 Welcome to my one-man show! How're you feeling? Tell me, tell me, tell me!
Attack 15 Committing a more serious murder every now and then is good for you. I'm here to seduce you! Vwoosh!
Asc 1/2 Extra Attack 1 Hell can be found anywhere. Let's enjoy it. Go, go, Cerberus♪ Get 'em good, Cerberus♪
Asc 3 Extra Attack 1 Hell can be found anywhere. Let's enjoy it. Go, go, goddess♪ The best there ever was♪
Asc 1/2 Extra Attack 2 Walk on, go ahead. I made this wedding aisle just for you guys. Did you know the boys love cookies?
Asc 3 Extra Attack 2 Walk on, go ahead. I made this wedding aisle just for you guys. Every girl dreams of a good beam attack!
Asc 1/2 Extra Attack 3 Fear never gets old. And it's best when savored with a partner around, right, Gilles? New debut: meet the Halloween Cerberus!
Asc 3 Extra Attack 3 Fear never gets old. And it's best when savored with a partner around, right, Gilles? Blessings and curses to your lovely soul.
Asc 1/2 Extra Attack 4 "The roughest walks can feel less painful when I have you by my side..." Good one, right? Don't worry, they don't bite. They do shoot beams, though.
Asc 3 Extra Attack 4 "The roughest walks can feel less painful when I have you by my side..." Good one, right? Omigosh... Is that the real me? Naaaaaaah!
Noble Phantasm 1 Welcome to the theater of dreams. In the blink of an eyes, everything flips inside out, vanishes into thin air, and in enveloped in glory. Let us begin the spectacle of mutual butchering and humiliation! Fallacy dances with deception, with their steps churning the sands of the natural laws. My glare devours the tower enshrining the maddened hearts! Chóros Tis Theás Tis Trélas.
Noble Phantasm 2 I offer good wishes, gratitude, and sacrifices in tribute to this broken world. Bring here a recap of their fickle yet resolute journey! Grand Illusion! Ah! Let me see more! Let me see it closer! Let me see the ultimate standard of humanity, achieved only when sanity and insanity blend together! Chóros Tis Theás Tis Trélas.
Noble Phantasm 3 Close your eyes for a moment. You now stand at the Csejte Pyramid Himeji Ishtar Temple... Giant Haniwa? Who came up with this goofy-ass tour plan? Sure, why not? Having fun is all that matters. Hmm... I guess it's okay to do it my base style from time to time. This is just a good-looking papier-machê bust. It can't hurt you. As if! Sike!
Noble Phantasm 4 (Asc 3 only) - I thank the folly of Zeus, for dropping on the Earthly lands. Thus, I expose mankind's folly, and endorse them even when taken to their last days.
Damage 1 Hahahahaha! I'm not surviving this one! Hahahahaha! You're gonna wreck me here, buddy.
Damage 2 Oopsie... Nice one.
Damage 3 Tsk, some people can't take a joke. Ugh, c'mon, you guys can't take a joke.
Damage 4 Owie. Ouchie.
Defeat 1 Huh? What about the rest of the show? Aww... The curtains are lowering so soon?
Defeat 2 I really wanted to watch you guys until the end... Sigh... And the party was just beginning, too... What a... pity...
Defeat 3 There's no way I'm the last Prelati. Just you wait for the second... and the third... The rage bait worked a little too well...
Defeat 4 (Asc 1-only) Thank you, Master. I had a great time. Thanks, Master. I had a great time.
Asc 1/3 Victory 1 Thank you for this wonderful show! My applause and appreciation goes to the whole cast! I'll at least spare your life. Sike!
Asc 2 Victory 1 You're coming with me for interrogation, buddy. The fun has just begun! Follow me to your detention cell. Oh, wait? Maybe you should go to the morgue instead.
Asc 1/3 Victory 2 Say, Master, why don't we control these enemies with my illusions and turn them into allies? Huh? It's over already? Where's the punchline? We don't get even a plot twist?
Asc 2 Victory 2 You don't have to worry about a thing. I'll be your lawyer. Yeeeeah, pretending to be evil is way easier than pretending to be justice.
Victory 3 Meh, endings things like this would be boring. Both for me and for you. Are sure you won't stand up? If you're helpless, then I'll have my way with you.
Victory 4 Had fun? Then send your donations over Master's way. Hey, Master, see how I didn't backstab you? Praise me to your heart's content.

François

François Prelati CV: Uchida Maaya
Level Up 1 Are you sure you want me to get stronger? Real sure?
Level Up 2 Those embers taste better than I thought. Can you make them popcorn-flavored?
Level Up 3 You got some dangerous tastes. Don't go crying to me if someone betrays you. Like, say, me.
Ascension 1 Here's Costume 2. This fit? Turns out I have some history with the police. I pulled this one from some unremembered records. What'cha think? Do I look spiffy on it?
Ascension 2 Me sticking with this costume for a while longer could be a message from God telling me to be Chaldea's own police force. I'm always open for a good bribe!
Ascension 3 Sigh... It's been forever since I last wore this one. It's from the seances, devil summons, and all that jazz. Perhaps the most fun times of my Prelati phase. The good times when it was unclear whether I was summoning devils or I was the devil myself.
Ascension 4 Amazing. You know the world is bugged, because someone wacky enough to pour this many resources on us has no business surviving this long. Well, any glitch can become an exploit to a runner who knows what they're doing. I love it. I'll be the demon whispering in your shoulder, enjoying it to its very last. Be ready for me.
Bond 1 Hehe, is really a good idea to leave me to my own devices? I could backstab you . I could be a spy from the enemy's side. It's pretty 50:50 whether I'm friend or foe.
Bond 2 Honestly, it's a wonder you have the will to use me. If you know Gilles, you should know my track record perfectly well.
Bond 3 I can't tell if you're a wacko with a penchant for danger, a good-too-shoes taken to the extreme, or... You know what? Doesn't matter. Where's the fun in betraying someone who so effortlessly exposes me the back to stab?
Bond 4 I'm quite fond of you, Master. Sike! You show know better than expect me to open my heart just over some deepened bond. You wouldn't even want it to be true, would you? What could be more undesirable than being liked by a nasty miscreant like me?
Bond 5 Hm, yeah, the "quite fond" part was a lie. I'm actually super fond of you. I believe the same goes for Francesca. So, Master, I ask you to let us watch your journey down to its end. I don't care if it's a bad ending, a happy ending, or a "and the adventures continues forever". No matter what path you choose, I'll be your Servant and your curious bystander, watching it all until the credits roll. Hahahahaha!
My Room 1 So, when do I get to watch the action movie of you taking countless Heroic Spirits to battle? Oh, I don't mind being the spectator. You can find me observing from afar when the stuff is happening.
My Room 2 Servitude? Master, buddy, you know the way you can't tell who is on top when you're dealing with king Servants? That's the good stuff. Just the type of relationship that grabs me. Though you're always welcome to start a revolution and regain your control.
My Room 3 How I feel about you? Hmm, same opinion between François and Francesca. We like you lot, but not romantically. More like friendship, respect, reverence... No, not that either. Oh! I got it! Fandom! We're your fans, Master!
My Room 4 (Caster Gilles) Gilles? Gilles...? Gilles! GILLES! Chaldea is so awesome! I never even dreamed of seeing you again! Haha, what a relief to see you're still the same as always. By the way, you picked up this COOooOOooL from who?
My Room 5 (Saber Gilles) The madness born of Gilles' hatred for God is his and his alone. Rather than tempting him, I was the one who fell for his sweet charms, became his sworn brother, and followed the whole trip to hell. So if anyone says I instigated Gilles into becoming the way he did, I'll take it as insult to the madness he derived of his own accord. I won't let the comment slide. Not that you need to hear any of this, Master.
My Room 6 (Richard) Lil' Lionheart really, really, REALLY knows how to make a trainwreck out of a good plan. Watch out for him, Master. That King might look like a pleasant fellow, but beneath the surface, the freak of a King has the potential to destroy a city with that same friendly smile.
My Room 7 (Paris) Paris... You're an amazing fellow. Até's power made so many bold changes to history, but in the end, you still... Never mind, what happened in other timelines has nothing to do with you. Forget what I just said. Why don't we do something more fun instead, like shearing this sheep of yours?
My Room 8 (Vritra) Vritra. The wicked dragon really had me in the first half. I thought we had similar tastes, but when it comes the last stretch we REALLY can't see eye to eye. When the human is cornered, back to the wall, she takes joy in watching them overcome the threat... which is fine and all, sure, but the opposite development is my favorite. How about you, Master? Can you appreciate a nice movie with an unhappy ending?
My Room 9 (any Gilgamesh) Master, keep King Goldie away from me, if you'd please. He's just... y'know. Gives off that feeling something bad will happen to me.
My Room 10 (Sitonai) I know she's a Pseudo-Servant now, but... is that the Einzbern girl? Oh, I see how it is... In their final moments, the Einzberns managed to... A toast to you, my good Jubstacheit von Einzbern.
My Room 11 (Kuonji) Hold up! You got even a handler of Ploy Kickshaws here!? How the actual heck can this world's Human Order have something like that on their payroll and still face any level of difficulty!?
My Room 12 (HibiChika) Oof, Francesca's prolly gonna have this one filtered out... Hibiki, I mean. Chika, she'll percieve just fine. Who could've thought the Labyrinth loot she had as practically her life goal would be working as a waitress? I can't imagine a funniest joke, personally, but Francesca would prolly... Hm... Yeah, that'd break her.
My Room 13 In the real world, Francesca and I swap bodies all the time. There's no "real one" among us. But a few things in our hearts swap along with it, and we got some memories we don't share. It's not perfect, but I guess the best way to put it is that I have more of the mind of a Heroic Spirit and Francesca has more of the mind of a living human. Note that this doesn't necessarily make me kinder.
Likes What do I like? Humanity, duh! I love watching you overcome hardships, as much as love watching you lose to your desires and let corruption take you to a meaningless death! They tell me I'm on a toxic diet, but I eat that junk up knowing fully well it's bad for me!
Dislikes I'm not too fond of lifeforms who distanced themselves from humanity too much. Bugs, in particular, are the biggest weakness of my magecraft. Ever heard of the Makiris? Their worm charmers mess me up soooooo bad!
Holy Grail Ooo, the Holy Grail? If you mean it as a wish granter, I don't particular care. If anything, I'm way more interested in how you would use the Holy Grail for yourself. Ok, I'll bring you one from the vault. Huh? I can't? Bleeeh.
Event We got a festival going on, Master! Got your popcorn? Bought your coke? Take a first row seat to watch us Servants slave away.
Birthday Nice one, Master! As they say in Japan, with every new year, you walked a league closer to the netherworld! Yup, it's your birthday! Don't you worry about a thing, Master. If you die, you get to pick between any underworld of your liking. My personal recommendation would be, hmm, I guess the pit in the chocolate river?

Francesca

Francesca Prelati CV: Uchida Maaya
Level Up 1 Oh, awesome! Crazy stuff! I can feel my intestines wrapping around my lungs! Wanna try it out, Master?
Level Up 2 Ehehehe? Are you sure this a good idea? What if I betray you when my Saint Graph peaks and make a funky seesaw out of your body?
Level Up 3 What are you powering me up for? Now I'm looking forward to what you got in the schedule.
Ascension 1 Pan~paka~pan♪ What'cha think? Isn't there something so perverse about a death row convict dressed up as a cop?
Ascension 2 Sucks not have new clothes. I'd be so down for arresting you, but the folks who wore these uniforms all believed in what they were doing. I'll behave while wearing this, out of respect to the little fellows.
Ascension 3 Aaah... Goddess Até's Saint Graph fills me up. I'm a pile of rubble formed from Até's remains, nothing more. Francesca? François? I don't know which is my true form anymore. No, I suppose both are true? The two reveal different faces of myself, so go ahead and pick your favorite, Master. Swap as you feel like.
Ascension 4 Hahahahahahaha! I always thought you were a funny Master, but I never thought it'd go this far! You genuinely didn't entertain the thought of me betraying you. Or did you put your hands in the fire already expecting it to burn? But you can have it your way. After this big show of folly, you got full support from me... from us Prelatis. Look how nice we are! Yay! Hahahaha!
Bond 1 Hey, Master, can you tell me more about the first enemy you murdered in the journey to save Human Order? Aha, oopsie, sowwy. I meant to say "first enemy you ordered a Servant to murder". Phrasing fixed.
Bond 2 Don't get so hot under the collar, Master. You should know by now I'm a recreational shit-stirrer. But in turn, you're free to troll me back any day of the week. Do your worst. Oh, no Chen Gong-ing, please.
Bond 3 Other timelines? If we go to where Até's influence is the strongest, my illusions can deceive the whole Texture of a large region. Over here, I don't see myself pulling it off, even with a little Grail boost. Yeah, me being powerful requires a good deal of special circumstances. Keep your hopes down. Big sorry.
Bond 4 I'm going off my rockers over here... If I had been summoned to a normal Grail War, I'd be partying wild. I so would have already back-stabbed my Master or thrown in a risky gamble or something. But you lamer is always jumping into danger without me getting to put on any work! So I keep having to bail you out instead of getting to be part of the fun.
Bond 5 Ahahahahaha, now that came out of NOWHERE! I never even imagined myself getting this intrigued by just one person. Fine, then. Im'ma playing real hard from now on, so you do well to fight back just as hard. Trust me, if it turns out you kill one of us instead of the other way around, you won't be hearing a word of complaint from either.
My Room 1 Are you not leaving, Master? I could cast an illusion to get the guys thinking you're doing your job. How about it? Deal?
My Room 2 I know my place. Being a Servant means I serve. I'd never stab my Master in the back, poison them, or use a Noble Phantasm to crush their heart in the moment of the summon. Tell me if I'm wrong, Master.
My Room 3 Our relationship? Hm, I guess you're our toy? Of course, making a toy out of you means I'm consenting to your attempts to make a toy out of me. Are you game, Master? How do you want to play with me?
My Room 4 (Saber Gilles) Oh, look who we have here? Gilles still in his maiden days. Oh boy, one time, back when I was François, I passed off my current form, Francesca, as one the catalyst girls to tease him. ...I had no idea where that would go. What did we do? Gilles wouldn't want me to tell, so my lips are sealed.
My Room 5 (Caster Gilles and Ruler Jeanne) Jeanne d'Arc... She's finally back together, Gilles. Congrats. I got soooo much to say to my girlie Jeanne, but let's not ruin the moment. First 'cause she's never seen me before, and second 'cause this calls for the party of all times. Get your ass seated for the 3 days and 3 nights of GillJean Fest!
My Room 6 (Beni-Enma) Beni-Enma is so not for me. Can't even count how many times I've got my tongue lopped off. Why can't she see I only ever tell super helpful and beneficial lies? Prolly 'cause that's not true. Hm? Behind me? AH! BENI-ENMA! HAVE MERCY!
My Room 7 (Ishtar) Wow, Chaldea also got their Ishtar. Huh? What the heck is wrong with her? Master, Chaldea's Ishtar is not playing fair! What's this devil she combined with?
My Room 8 (Waver, Gray, or Luvia) Even here the El-Melloi Classroom keeps showing up? The Plundering Duke sure raised his tykes well. They're gotta be scheming to steal my spotlight.
My Room 9 (Merlin) Merlin is kinda like the mentor to my illusion mentors. He's prolly aware of me, but I don't think he gives a rat's. Incubus boys ain't my type, either.
My Room 10 (HibiChika) Tell me, Master, why's this chick possessed by Azumi no Isora—this Katsuragi Chikagi—always talking to herself? Hmm? Hibiki? Whomst? Wat? Wuzzat? What was I talking about?
My Room 11 (Aoko) HUH? Why do you have No. 5 here? Oh, err, don't tell me her sister is also... The Scar R... No, I won't say. Dropped halfway, didn't count! She might come busting out of the door if I say the name.
My Room 12 (Ephemeros) Wuzzat? Who's this funky fruit dragon Chaldea's got? What's the excuse the tsundere extraordinaire dropped when she knocked your door? Hey, girlie, did you wish for this? Did you catch the shooting star and wished "Please, God, anywhere but Chaldea"? Ahahahahahaha.
My Room 13 (John) Don't let your guard down just 'cause John is in his baby boy form. No matter how much of a sympathetic dunce he looks like, you can't be forgetting all the things his Black Lion facet did in the fields of war. I'm DYING to see what you're gonna about him with that in mind! Gosh, this RULES!
Likes What I like? It's gotta be humanity. You're human yourself, so welcome to the Hall of Fame of Prelati Favorites! Congrats, cheers, hurrah! Wuzzat? Where's the applause?
Dislikes What I hate? The non-human boys trying to steal the honor of eradicating humanity from humanity itself! I can respect humans trying to slaughter each other to extinction, though. That's a fun romp.
Holy Grail Oh, the Holy Grail? Hmm, you mean the wish-granting energy, right? Not the Greater Grail? Guess I'd drop it at Chaldea's cafeteria and set up a hidden camera to keep track of who nabs it first. With live commentary from YOU! Huh? I can't? Bleeeh.
Event Master! We got an event! A festival! What's gonna be? Lotto? Missions? Point ladder? In every event, the game's the same: apple speed-eating!
Birthday Happy birthday, Master! Wuzaaaat? Bracing yourself for a threat? It's fiiiiiiine. It's your birthday, I'll be normal about the celebration. Get ready for a whole day of the nicest illusions you've ever seen! Those sweet, sweeeeeet mirages, the kind you'll never want to wake up from♡
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u/ComunCoutinho — 10 days ago

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The unblessed Lackland. The foolish and incompetent John Sans Terre. Brother and betrayer of the Lionheart. Was he really a failure of a king? There's no way to know for sure. Not even for Chaldea. Because the story of this manifested Heroic Spirit is not guaranteed to have followed the same tracks as his life.

"…This land will rot in the name of the Black Lion. No dust or ash shall be left of it."

Bond 1

  • Height / Weight: 185cm/70kg (1st and 3rd Ascension), 165cm/53kg (2nd Ascension)
  • Source: Historical fact
  • Region: Europe
  • Alignment: Neutral Evil
  • Attribute: Man
  • Gender: Male

Commonly known as John Lackland. He is the younger brother of Richard the Lionheart, and tends to be depicted as the antagonist is several Robin Hood stories.

Bond 2

  • 1st Ascension:

This form is John Lackland but technically isn't. The Black Lion is an amalgam of the curses of oppression gathered from all tyrants, underachievers, and failures who terrorized their subjects. He's made from packing curses in the armor of one Heroic Spirit who had his Spirit Core shattered, but not even John himself knows why the Heroic Spirit's armor remained as his property after his Spirit Core was crushed. His speculation derived a plausible answer, which he's been trying to drown out from his head—the irritation produced by this answer only deepens the tyrant's curse.

His memories are still fully shared with John's other forms, but his personality is practically someone else. However, upon learning facts that would have impacted the other John forms, the impact they suffered is properly transmitted to him.

Bond 3

  • 2nd Ascension:

A young form, appearing to be around the age of 15. John from when he was a boy with a promising future, raised dearly by his father, trying to hatch into adulthood. This period can be considered the prime of King John's life. King Henry II gave John special treatment to compensate for the fact he didn't have any land to give him at birth. In turn, John was loyal to his father, unlike his brothers. That said, as an adult, he turned to the side of Henry II's enemy—John's brother, Richard the Lionheart. And this betrayal drove his father to die of disappointment.

"My prime was the time all I did was being pampered by Father? …Haha, I can't say I went any higher than this. Yeah, this doesn't bother me. It's completely true."

Bond 4 and event completion

TBA

Bond 5 and event completion

TBA

Also Bond 5 and event completion

TBA

Bond CE: Not My Cause of Death

Not My Cause of Death

"What astounds you so much? Is it that peculiar for a king to partake in peaches?"

"...Oh, very well. I see you're familiar with the rumors over my cause of death... Why do you even bother learning this inconsequential nonsense? There must be more important things to study if you're trying to save the world or to live after it's saved."

"First point of note: the scholars who concocted this theory made it up from nothing. The death of the failure of the century must have been quite the delicious source of entertainment for the people who outlived me. I know of a bunch who spread the word that I was a werewolf. Imagine the poor sense of humor it takes to make the lion's brother into a wolf. Naturally, this narrative didn't get too far, as no one in their right mind would consider me awesome enough to be a monster of legend. Although I would probably have been more useful to your forces if some kind of Innocent Monster variant manifested me in werewolf form."

"Still... 'He died for ravenously eating too many poisoned peaches', huh... You can get a far more memorable story with a queen dying from a piece of cheese to the head. Lil' old John is utterly pathetic even in his fake death scene... This is not the death I recognize as my real, but let people say whatever they want. This version suits me way better than a less stupid death, wouldn't you say?"

"Want some too, Master? Don't worry. They're not poisoned. My revenge against all of you will come later, but it will be honorably announced. Being all sneaky about it would defeat the point."

"Oh, you liked them? ...Great, so do I."

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u/ComunCoutinho — 12 days ago