My Battle w/ Lust.
Hello everyone. Just wanted to share a bit as maybe it could help a brother or sister out.
I’ve been on my walk with God for about 8 months. In that time so much has changed in my life. Porn was never super bad but I still used it and was addicted. When I started my walk I fell a good handful of times. I decided that masturbation was something I wanted to abstain from. I’m married but currently my marriage is not in a great place, so the sex life follows that trend. But I kept trying to abstain from both porn and self gratification. Was very hard in the beginning because with no sex I felt very pent up. I deleted all porn from my phone, cleared my computer of history, cleaned my social media feeds (almost impossible), and chose to give it to God.
I come to you today on a 29 day streak of no masturbation! By the grace of God, I’ve been able to achieve this. The longest I’ve gone in my entire adult life without it. But. Tonight I was trying to download something to send to my son and to find it I went to downloads folder on my phone. And. What. Do. We. Have. Here. In the bottom corner is a pornographic image. I scrolled away and then I realized I clicked on it and was looking at it. I said “WOAH WOAH WOAH” immediately closed it and deleted it. But what I wanted to share is… that feeling is no joke. After not partaking in those things for about a month, that feeling of lust…. It’s like a drug. It was sooooo strong, but I could hear God in the background. “No temptation has overtaken you except that which is common to mankind.” I deleted it, put my phone down and opened up my Bible. God provided me a way out, so that I could endure it. I didn’t give in to temptation. And it was hard.
I feel so much for all you guys going through this too. It’s so strong. But God is stronger. List is the only sin He tells us to flee from. And tonight I fled. It was so hard. But I feel very proud and thankful for our God. Just wanted to share with you guys. I hope you all are doing well and stay strong, but don’t be afraid to flee!