Friendship slowly ended, and I feel better than I ever did
Had a friend I used to consider a "best friend" since high school. Now I'm 25.
When we were still in High school. We see each other almost every day. I thought our relationship was healthy. For college, the dynamic would always be me trying to reach out to her most of the time. We lived in different cities. So maybe only been able to see each other a few times a year. But we text every single day. Sharing our lives.
And then she starts to stop replying to messages. Not just my message. But everyone's message. I'm not sure if she's not mentally well. Sometimes she will say on her profile that she feels like she's depressed, and doesn't feel like she's leaving the house. However, she has never received any professional diagnosis. This goes on for years. She will stop texting everyone for months. And then goes back to normal texting. If I were trying to ask her out. The chances of her saying ok is small. Most of the time, we get " I will see how I feel that day."
I thought maybe she had something that she didn't want to share with me. So I didn't ask too much about it. But I have always been the one who listens and offers help to any of my friends.
Then we graduated. And I felt like our lives and paths had differed. So much bigger than ever. I have changed cities—different jobs. She went back to her parents' house (she used to live in the most prosperous city in my country). Had a job for one year. Resigned. And then stayed unemployed for two years.
There are two times I realized our differences.
- When I went to visit her. And realized her thinking was still stuck in the past. She has stayed where she was throughout the year.
- My gf asked for my said friend. And I say she has not replied to my message for weeks. My gf told me," You need a better friend. My friend would not leave me on read or ignore my text for weeks or months."
Our chat stayed at Step. 2025. And of course, she did not reply to my message. Then I realized there's no point in texting her anymore. We don't have too many things in common anymore. So I stopped. I can't force anyone to be my friend. But after I stopped being friends with her. I made more friends. And I don't think about her too much now.