Newly almost diagnosed struggling with anxiety and depression
Quick background info. Living with crohn is fairly new to me. It all started in February. I ve had a rough week feeling bloated. Then I started having bloodypotty. It lasted for about a month. As soon as I saw blood I went to see my Dr. we investigated for a bacteria or a virus. Results were negative. Then we started to investigate for potential ibd. Went to a gi. She directly made me do rectoscopy, a ct enterography followed by a gastroscopy and a colonoscopy. This was end of March. Results are all converging to crohns disease but I m still waiting for a last bloodcheck to be 100% sure its crohns.
As of now I still havent had an appointment with a gi that sat me down and explained me what's going on, what is it and how should we treat it, what does it imply. I ve been left completely clueless to face everything thats happening to me. I have little to no pain btw so i know I m very lucky in this situation. I have always had social anxiety and I might have had depression at some point in my youth but I've always been able to overcome it by myself.
But lately my anxiety has been through the roof. I had to take a medical leave from work because I just couldn't fake it anymore. I would be working while holding back tears until I couldn't.
My Dr put me on antidepressant last week so I know I m on a down phase before it gets better but holly f I wasn't ready for this...
It reached the point where this Sunday I had the worst day of my life in terms of mental health. Woke up from an anxiety attack at 6, couldnt calm it down, spent 4 hours crying nonstop with some very dark thoughts about myself, very demeaning thoughts. The thoughts were so strong I couldnt resonate myself out of it. I couldnt tell what was real and what was just the anxiety lying to me. It got better after some time but I still felt the anxiety hovering on me.
So my question was, did anybody else struggle really badly with mental health. Did you get mental issues bcs of crohn or atleast has ir been very accentuated by it. Is it bcs of crohn? I feel like my anxiety and depression got amplified by 50. I ve never been at such a low point. Am I going crazy? I'm fkn scared as fuck that I m losing my mind.