42M, been going through a lot lately. Thanks everyone for the help! And progress report.
This is a throwaway account. But I've posted here in the past.
A year and a half ago I woke up from a cult. It was mind shattering. I've been putting my frustrations into fitness and work. Started a few new hobbies too and found things about myself that I didn't know.
Things aren't exactly the smoothest back home. Divorce maybe soon. I dunno. She wants the cult version of me. Says I'm not the man she married. Dead bedroom for a long time now, we might be intimate once every 3 or 4 months? I haven't been the one to initiate in I don't know how long. Feels a bit tmi to say that with my face in a post. But whatever, I'll probably take this down in a day or two.
I tend to stay long hours and I enjoy the peace. Plus I feel pretty accomplished here. I'm one to always smile despite the insane storm on the inside. But I take a step back and breathe and it gets better and I know I've grown a little every day.
I wanted to thank the kind words from this community and how you've helped me see the value in myself.
(And because I'm shameless, yes you can tease me about my arms, it's always flattering 😆, I was called Bruce Banner at one of my last jobs lol)
Edit: and honestly despite the smile, I'm pretty lonely.