I’m writing this after just waking up from another nightmare off of three hours of sleep. I couldn’t make myself go back to bed.
My boyfriend and I have been together for now one month out from three years. I love him. He’s let me move in with his family to get out of a bad home situation. He is my person for reasons other than that.
In this dream we were in a similar room to ours, I was sleeping on my side, and on the outside of him there was a girl cuddling right up next to him. I don’t know why in this dream I didn’t automatically scream out loud saying “what the fuck is this.” I made an effort to pry her leg off of his, and when they woke up in the dream, I told the girl “I don’t think I know you?” She responded “Our parents used to live together when we were young” (nothing parallel to real life) and I then watched this girl with absolutely no bottoms or underwear on pull on shorts. They hugged goodbye as I sat there and my boyfriend said “not cooool” as he does when we joke around in real life.
In real life I am very self conscious and jealous when it comes to other girls. The most that has ever happened but is still heartbreaking in my mind is a glance at another girl in public. I do the same with guys in public and it’s merely out of instinct, but I take it differently with him. When that happens I shut down completely, and I can’t tell him why. He has never gave me reason to think he would cheat, there are things about his past I’m unsure of. He had an abusive ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and his sister told me he would hang out with another girl to make his ex mad. I don’t know how to ask about this because I think that scenario is entirely too complicated to bring up on an average day, I don’t want him to think I believe he’s a bad person, I don’t believe that. I want this to stop. I can’t really cope with this. He’s asleep beside me as i’m typing and I can’t shake this feeling of him being with another girl and it happening right next to me. I love him and just want this to go away. This type of under my nose dream has happened before, and I know it is likely because I’m insecure and jealous in general. I just want it to stop. Please help.