I’m looking for some advice on how to handle a delicate situation in a charitable and constructive way.
I’m part of a parish music ministry as an instrumentalist (not a singer), and overall it’s been a great experience. However, there’s a recurring issue I’m struggling with involving one of the vocalists.
There’s a member of the group who consistently struggles with pitch and carrying melodies. On top of that, she sometimes brings a friend to join, and he also has similar difficulty singing in tune.
I want to be clear that both of them are kind, well-meaning, and clearly offering their time in good faith. I don’t want to be hurtful or come across as judgmental. At the same time, the quality of the music at Mass does matter, and I feel like it’s beginning to affect the overall experience for the congregation.
Rather than addressing them directly, I’m considering speaking to our lead vocalist about it, since she’s in more of a leadership role within the group.
For those who’ve been in similar situations:
Is it appropriate for me (as an instrumentalist) to bring this up to the lead vocalist?
How can I approach that conversation in a way that is charitable and respectful, without sounding like I’m complaining about specific people?
Is there a good way to frame this as concern for the ministry as a whole, rather than criticism of individuals?
I really want to handle this with humility, charity, and respect for everyone involved, and avoid causing embarrassment or tension within the ministry.
Any guidance would be appreciated.