Late 30s HENRY couple stuck in the Netherlands: How do we improve our experience of the country?
I’ve been an expat all my life and worked across London, New York, Zurich and Munich. 3 years ago my company transferred me to Amsterdam. I make $500k with potential to grow and have 2 years of the expat tax break left. My wife is also doing well here. I’m the main breadwinner and another transfer isn’t on the cards in the mid run.
I think NL is stunning and I love the Dutch. I don’t mind the weather and - although eating out remains as dreadful as ever - we’ve learned to navigate the food situation (plus the supermarkets are ok). After quickly realising that Amsterdam is not for us my wife and I bought a beautiful house in the suburbs. On paper our quality of life great relative to what we could get in the UK where I was transferred from.
But as the years went by we’ve been increasingly struggling with what we perceive as an unsafe environment and a lack of civic decorum. This has nothing to do with the native Dutch and I’m not writing this post to spark a political discussion. Let’s just say that - although I’m aware of the consensus that this is a growing trend across Western Europe - what I see in NL public spaces on a daily basis doesn’t compare to my former countries where I always felt sheltered. Especially in the US and UK you can price out any kind of trouble.
It begins with ubiquitous litter. Then there are regular explosions that scare the hell out of us, even if it’s just criminals attacking each other. Finally the well-known characters who terrorize the cities in their pimped BMWs and fatbikes are everywhere. A wrong look and things can go south. Especially malls and parks feel entirely dominated by this group. As a result we’ve pretty much stopped leaving the house unless it’s go to go work or the airport.
We’re trying for a kid and so have been looking to move somewhat away from the Randstad area. But colleagues and friends have cautioned us that we won’t be able to escape what we’re fleeing from, unless we go out all the way to the countryside. My wife works from home and I have to be in the Amsterdam office on a regular basis. This raises the question as to whether adding a commute only to have to go back into the epicentre of it all on a daily basis makes any sense.
Has anyone been through the same but managed to find the idyll in NL? Or am I simply idealizing my former countries that have also declined since I left?