Dealing with a patriarchal mother
How do you cope with a mother shaped by patriarchy, religious fear, and “what will people say”?
I studied abroad on scholarship, but my mother often says it was only because she “allowed” it — and sometimes says she should never have allowed it at all. It hurts when something I worked so hard for is turned into something held over me.
I fell in love with someone she once partly accepted, but later shamed me for — especially because he is not Indian. She even tell relatives it is an arranged proposal, not a love relation. That has caused me deep hurt and a real identity crisis, because it feels like my own story is being erased to protect her respect in society. My mother always have difficult live because of norms religion brain washing but she still sticks to her thoughts.
How do you cope when love comes mixed with guilt, control, and fear from your mother?