u/ComplaintExtra5955

Hey, I am in college and I recently have come back to my hometown for the summer. I do have friends back at university but none of them live in my hometown and I do not want to hang out with people I knew from high school (they were assholes tbh).

I really want friends I can come back to during my breaks from college. I have tried signing up for meetup but it was all things for middle aged / old people. Now my hometown is a little small but there is a big party university near where I live so I hope I can meet a lot of people my age around here.

I do have a lot of hobbies like rock climbing, boxing, etc. but I sometimes find it really hard to find people to be friends with on my own.
Is there any tips and tricks I should know of? Please help.

I have this problem where if someone has disrespected me or bullied me in the past, I never really forget about it. I have had the issue of not standing up for myself so when these events happened, I never really said anything. The issue is I keep replaying these events in my head and simmering in my own hate. I hate that these people see me as a doormat and got away with being so mean to me.

The problem is some of these events have happened years ago. I know that they could be a totally different person now, but I just won’t let go of my grudge. The most recent example I can think of is that my roommate keeps calling me Mexican even though I am Cuban (and I talk about it constantly) and they have known me for 2 years 🙄. I thought that I was being too sensitive but now I realize that actually annoys me. (Anyways… let me stop venting at 9 am)

How do I fix this? I want to get over this.

I am always comparing myself, and it is making me feel perpetually sad. It is mainly in a social way. I am in university, and I feel like I do not have enough friends, nor do I feel like I have the confidence to make that many.

I am constantly comparing myself to my sister and my other friends who have a lot of friends. They always seem to have a lot of cool memories with them and to be doing cool stuff with them. Don't get me wrong, I have friends, but I never feel like I have time (Biomed major) or the confidence to keep in contact with them. I have a sense that if I do start calling them up and/or start texting people, I am going to be extremely awkward and they won't enjoy calling, and/or I will leave them on read because I am a very bad texter (I have adhd and am very busy, so I always forget to respond).

I am also scared to make new friends because I have trouble standing up for myself due to my low self-esteem. I used to be good at it, and I had pretty high standards, but due to years of being with criticizing, toxic friends, my self-respect has kind of diminished. I want to have friends who don't walk all over me, but my desperation and people-pleasing tendencies cause them to.

How do I fix this?