I’ve struggled with patellar dislocations since I was 9 years old. They’re most common when I’m overtired or sick. After a lifetime of regular PT, at age 22 I had a tibial tubercle osteotomy on my right side. The plan was to do an MPFL reconstruction as well, but the surgeon made a (shitty) call during my procedure not to do it and thought the TTO would be enough. It helped some, but didn’t totally stop the dislocations from happening. Fast forward to 2023, my left knee went out baaadly and I suffered a complete tear of my MPFL. It took a bit, but I ended up having an MPFL reconstruction and am having way better results than I did with my right knee.
Since the bad incident in 2023, I’ve suffered with huge anxiety that it could happen again. It’s the worst and strangest pain I’ve ever had to deal with (they always spontaneously reduce and usually cause ligament tearing), and there’s never any warning, as it usually happens when I’m simply walking or pivoting, not doing something strenuous.
I’ve been okay for a while, but then a few nights ago my right knee ‘did the thing’ again. I don’t think it’s super severe and can be managed at home, the swelling isn’t terrible, no bruising, and I’m walking on it with moderate pain but it’s manageable. It’s still pretty unstable though and actually has slipped a bit while just laying in bed, rolling over, ect.
But I’m mentally struggling. Anxiety over when it will happen again, like constantly mentally bracing for impact. Also so many random fast almost flashback like sensations/ moments?
I know this is stuff to bring up with my ortho doctors , I know I’m not able to do another surgery right now if I can avoid it ($$$ thanks America). But I’m a nurse, I work on my feet; and I’m looking for ideas of how to deal with the mental side of this.
❤️