Hello! I don’t know if this is the right sub to share all of this but here we go. It’s a lot and kind of all over the place.
I was a life long existentialist and atheist, however things have changed drastically this year. I am in my mid 40s and in the past few years began having feelings of wishing that I could have the comfort of those who embrace religion or spirituality. I decided to start seeking this year.
I felt called to read the book “a new science of heaven” which is about the plasma life theory. I don’t know why, I rarely have read in the past decade but I even pre-ordered the book. When I received the book I read it frantically and just had this feeling that I knew it would contain some answers. The plasma life theory immediately changed my mind from atheist to there is something more. This sparked something in me, I ordered more books and felt like I needed to research things as fast as possible. I have been reading the Ethiopian bible, attending church, reading Gnosticism, about the annunaki, listening to “the custodians” by Dolores Canon.
Where I’m currently landed interest wise is a cross between Gnosticism and alien life / Dolores Canon teachings. I am learning more every day but I had a couple of strange experiences along the way.
The first occurred when I started reading a new science of heaven. I was meditating or rather concentrating on the idea of a collective consciousness of energy floating around in space, imagining that I was part of everything and nothing. A very clear word came to my mind and that word was “Blitzkrieg”. I told myself to remember that word as I was drifting into sleep. I knew the word but not the definition and when I looked it up and found out it means “lightning war” a tactic that the Germans used to conquer Poland, I felt a feeling of fear, like why would this word I don’t even know come to mind when I was in a state of peacefulness. Then I started wondering if I had tuned into some sort of negative entities. I stopped meditating for a while.
As I read more about Gnosticism this experience made more sense, were these archon type entities trying to prevent me from reaching a certain state? I don’t know even as I type this all out it sounds crazy because a few months ago I didn’t believe in any of this.
Then on April 25 I had the best dream of my life. It started on a bus with a group of people and we were traveling somewhere. Then I was in a magical castle setting. I recall an in ground pool with women sitting around and maybe a ritual being performed in the water. Then I was called to go investigate something and I went upstairs. In this part of my dream I found myself outdoors maybe on a roof and it was night time. I looked on the roof and saw what I think was a giant dead black bird, I think a crow. Then I was walking around and got to where there was a gymnasium. There were a bunch of people or entities inside and then the one woman who I don’t recall any physical being told me to pick a card and that she would give me the power of that card. The first couple of cards appeared to have woodland animals on them. Then I communicated that I wanted to use my intuition to choose, and picked a card blindly. That card had a naked pregnant goddess or women laying on a pool of water with a long muslin type scarf flowing around her shoulders and arms. She had long flowing brown hair and I think there were flowers around her. I was told it was the power of divine femininity, and then the entity somehow put that power into me, I was filled with light as I spun around and then woke up.
I woke up beaming and filled with joy. This week I had another much shorter dream that a ball of light was being put into me by some sort of entity.
So now I’m wondering is my brain just overwhelmed with all of this information I’ve been consuming? I have this feeling like I’m disconnected from everything else and I have this urgency of figuring out what all of this means for me.
Any insight appreciated 🙏