For context I got this individual the job and we’ve been friends since we were five. Every single time I call off, magically they are sick and call off. This has happened more than five times, 4 of which were days I requested. I am very honest about why I need days off and I work with my job to find the best day that won’t hinder performance.
I requested a day off last week and felt guilty for even taking that day off (I’m in school and was working on my finals. I just felt like I was being lazy for even requesting a day off but I’m overwhelmed) and then come to find my friend also called off.
They don’t tell me anymore because I usually end up going in since two people can’t just call off and put the others in a bind. I feel kind of bad because it is affecting our friendship among other things (them telling made up stories about how I “abandoned them” or “left them out of group hangouts” under the guise of a “fun memory” to share loudly with me in front of everyone. I work two jobs and go to school and they say I’m doing too much but I feel like I’m doing what I need to improve my life. It almost feels like a sabotage & I hate thinking like this but it’s a pattern now and it’s freaking annoying. She called out for an entire WEEK… twice! Then said she wasn’t even “that sick” when she wanted to hit people’s vapes. It’s just absurd. I’ve seen her get fired from jobs so many times because they didn’t understand she was soooo “sick” yet I’d be at her house the days she called out and she was fine. lol. I thought maybe it was the bad situation she was in but now I realize it’s just her work ethic.
So basically how do I stop getting so angry when this keeps happening. Even my bosses notice and they aren’t mad at me in the slightest, but I feel like I can’t ever have a day to work on school/other activities because when I don’t come in, they don’t come in. I also want them to stop talking crazy at work and then acting like a victim when I tell them that what they’re saying didn’t happen. I literally just want her to stop being lazy for five minutes and relying on me for literally everything. Any advice is fine.
ETA: I am their ride to work so I have to tell them when I’m not coming in so they can find another ride. They also live within walking distance to work. Average walk takes 15 mins and I know this because I used to live in the same place and walked constantly.
Edit #2: I will be taking this down eventually but I really want to thank all of you for your advice and even the valid criticism. I have decided that I will stop providing rides since I am being taken advantage of and not giving her responses when she tries to stir up drama at work. As for our friendship, it will just have to stall out until she grows as a person and can prove that. Thank you all so much! I didn’t want to overreact or under-react so it means a lot you took time out of your day to help a stranger with a small issue out!
Final Edit: I took everyone’s advice and not only told her I would not be giving her rides but told her exactly how I felt and all the things that has been bothering me. I hope this will make our friendship stronger ultimately but if it doesn’t, that tells me all I need to know about her as a friend. Thank you so much for giving me the courage to do this. To you guys this seems very simple but to me it required overcoming some severe confrontational anxiety among other things. I actually feel like a weight has been lifted off of me, thank you.