u/Comeagain26

I’m wondering if anyone feels like this. All of these relationships we create can’t go with us beyond death. I’m a wife, mother, sister, daughter & I take all these titles God assigned to me seriously. Because I know within these roles, I can serve God by serving others within these titles. However in my 33 years of life I realize it’s more like an assignment.. like a job. I didn’t always feel this way. I was always the one who took relationships too seriously. Putting way more value on the relationships than other people.. putting them before for me.. expecting the same love loyalty & consideration in return but being crushed when I didn’t receive it back. As I became closer with God and started to focus more on eternity, I realized that these relationships actually means nothing because I can’t take them with me. Only my actions and intentions towards them will I take with me before God to be Judged. God won’t care about how close I was to an individual but he’ll care about how I treated that individual. Now everything I do for others, I do it with no expectation because I’m doing it as a servant of God. No I may not want to come over and spend quality time over some tea but if you need $50 dollars towards electricity I’m all for it.. because by helping you I’m doing Gods will as his servant. I may not care to spend 30 mins on the phone while you tell me about your trip to Vegas but when you ask me to help you clean out your garage because you’re about to move, I’m here for it. The bonding part of these titles I no longer care about. Just let me know how I can help you. I’m like this with all, not just people I hold a title with. I’ll go out of my way to help a stranger physically, financially as well but don’t care to know them. I’m not a people - person, however I always end up being the person people feel comfortable enough to tell all their business to. I’m kind enough to give advice if I have it but surely keep my distance. I’ve found peace being like this but I know I sometimes come off as cold or aloof . But it’s just I have a better understanding of what I’m here for now.