u/ColtnotonpercsV2

Most people will say it takes years of knowing someone or youll be 25 to early 30 before you feel real love won’t find your true love your soulmate until but I think it can happen in one moment or you can find n feel true love after a day of talking to someone well I found my soulmate and I let her go i fucked up everything, in the first week of hanging out I fell for and found the love of my life everything was perfect in the beginning we were inseparable always with each other or on call and texting, some background this was July of 25 and I was a junkie and had major issues because anxiety n depression n she just got a year sober so anyway first month was the greatest of my life always with each other n talking basically inseparable we were obsessed with each other and it was amazing then after two months she asks me to get clean for her cause she was scared it’d kill me n because it’s all she grew up around, me and her are basically the same person just she has it a little worse and I tried so hard to help but she didn’t want to ruin her family or have it out there, anyway after two almost 3 months of being together she asks me to get sober I said yes but was buying dope when we not with each she finds out and ask one more time and to do my scripted meds as they’re supposed to be i was prescribed Xanax n clonazeapam n i was abusing them so I got clean to a point but I was still abusing my meds and I didn’t know getting clean would break me n my relationship when I was getting clean I wasn’t like I first was I didn’t have that energy to call text n hangout 24/7 so 5 months in now it’s Christmas time im barely communicating cause I always felt sick or anxious or tired since I was clean i wasn’t acting obsessed about her like I was cause I felt bad and without drugs my depression got worse n my anxiety and I was thinking she don’t want me im not enough even tho I was I just had to talk to her but I’d go hours sometimes up to 2-3 days with no talking and ignoring her everytime I saw her text or call I wanted to answer so bad but didn’t have the motivation to so this goes on till we’re 6 months in so in February I changed I went back to being the obsessed boy she wanted but I took to long and in March close to April 2026 she leaves, she was the best thing that happened to me had money not that it mattered she was smart mature worked made me a better person while battling her demons and feeling like I didn’t love her cause I let my thoughts get in the way of answering her she was the nicest girl the most loving caring compassionate woman I met and I let her slip away by living in my head, i ended up relapsing and am high asf that’s why I wrote this off a lot of Ritalin thinking about her im sorry this probably sounds so stupid but idk I needed it off my chest if I was just myself and not lazy and didn’t live in my head we’d still be together and we’d be talking about our future and kids I ruined it all cause I fucked up the communication so learn from me if you feel she’s the one don’t let nothing stop you especially yourself