I need some help with this one guy
Just so you know, this post is LONG. Like around 5700 words.
Ok so for reference I’m 16m and my crush is 16m and we are in the same friend group. Im bisexual and im suspecting that he’s also queer. Like bisexual. We live in Sweden and although im Swedish he’s fully polish, but have lived in Sweden his whole life and is fluent in Swedish. His polish background makes his family a Christian, which is quite an important detail. Well it turns out that he’s like barely a believer of Christ. Like he doesn’t go to church, he doesn’t pray, and he barely even believes in Jesus. He said that he only reason he still identifies as a Christian and like still pretends to be one is because he’s scared of going to hell. But I said that it’s impossible to go to hell if you don’t believe in it, and he said it was a really good point. He’s also quite left leaning too.
I’m gonna summarize every single sign into 2 categories: Category 1: Signs towards me that suggest he likes me, and Category 2: Signs he could be queer in general.
Category 1: Signs he likes me.
We were having math class on a completely ordinary day and we were sitting together. Out of nowhere he just asked me ”how would ur parents react if you came out as gay?” Mind u I’ve never ever told him about me being a homo. Later on I didn’t see him ask anybody else, which could suggest he wanted to know how MY parents would feel.
Another sign it’s possible he’s into me is how I’m the only one he ”flirts” with. Some quotes he has said are ”if u get scared during the horror movie I can cuddle u””why are u so cute?? (Context on this one later on)” Today we were also having English, and we were sitting together and we were kinda playing eye tag with each other. He looked away, occasionally looked at me, smiled and fidgeted.
Some days ago I was sitting alone and although he was with those he usually spends more time with, he left them to come to me. Idk if this was him being friendly or him being into me. I NEED answers.
When school started we had pe and instead of texting the group chat where we were going to meet up, he texted me like ”should we meet outside the gym? By the sofa? Yes/no” that felt kinda weird like with yes/no thing, but like why did he only text me? When school had ended, we walked towards our lockers and picked up our stuff to go home. Me and our other friend Jenny had a bus to catch so we were kinda in a hurry. When I saw that my crush seemed to stay with the others I got kinda sad that he wouldn’t walk with me, but after me and the other friend had gone like 50 meters out of the school building, I saw my crush running. Alone. That meant that he abandoned our other friends, plus his other favorites, to be with me. And he was like ”you’re going with me to jordbro”. Not as a question, but as a statement, a fact. When I was telling him that I was catching the bus, he said ”well now you made daddy sad” and I kinda flirted back by saying like ”yes master” or something like that and he laughed. He also said like ”don’t let anybody know about this” which is VERY interesting. He also seemed like happy all the time. When we were saying goodbye he reached out his hand and I thought he just wanted to do a handshake so I grabbed it, but he like smiled and tried to pull me into the train station to go with him instead of going to the train. When I was walking back towards our other friend she was like ”yeah you’re definitely gay” like she acknowledged that this was not a neutral interaction. And this is even more meaningful because I’ve been talking about being like straight or bi.
In pe we say beside each other (there was a lecture of some sort) and he seemed a little bit awkward, but not the negative type of awkward, but the type where you become more self aware, because he did stuff that I don’t think he would with anyone else. Like I feel like he has a type of behavior that he only ever shows when he’s with me.
This is probably me being so fucking delusional, but yesterday he expressed that he wanted us to like play video games together. When he said we, I thought he meant we as the whole group, so I didn’t think much of it, but the game he suggested were exclusively two player games, so there is no way to play those games with more than two players. This does suggest that he like me enough as a friend at least to engage with me after school hours, and a classic sign people give when they have a crush on someone is that they want to have one on ones with you. And the next day he talked about those games again, and he said ”I wanna test these games with you” keyword with you. And he hadn’t played those games before btw.
When we were going home today, me, my crush, and the girl I’ve suspected he had a crush on, were on the same train. She is also in our friend group btw. I had a pretty rough day too so I wasn’t really talkative and I didn’t really look at him that much, my eyes were wondering around the train. But my crush was sitting in front of me and I could in my peripheral vision how he would occasionally like look at me and then quickly look away and then look at me again. And when I looked at him he like looked kind of flustered and that was visual. So I asked him like ”what?” And he was like ”nah nothing, I was joking” and because he said joking, that may mean that he knew that I knew he was kind of ”checking me out”, revealing himself. Because if it really was nothing, there would be nothing to joke about, before getting off the train. He didn’t look at her once and he had made it a habit that whenever we’re saying goodbye he would like gently take my hand instead of just like dabbing me up or something. But he always did that when we’re alone, and this time he didn’t do any of that, and coincidentally this was the time when another one from our friend group was present.
I’ve also noticed that with me, his behavior is subtly different. Like he does different facial expressions, he seems a little bit more awkward and self aware, stuff like that
One of my favorite moments with him is when we were at the school nurse because one of our friends were ill, and he took a band aid to put it on my nose to ”make me look cute”. Like wdym U find ME CUTE?? Another thing he has done is when we were planning a sleep over, and the FIRST thing he said was ”we’ll just so yall know, I’m gonna be sleeping naked with [my name]”. It was a joke obviously, but wdym your first thought was to sleep naked with ME, a MAN. That’s pretty gay. Another thing he did was when our friends jokingly suggested to kick me out of the group and he was like ”idk I kinda wanna keep [my name]”. Just tell me you love atp.
I’m also a dancer, and we were having math class. We were talking about who the hell knows and suddenly he was like ”idk I kinda wanna go watch u dance, because being able to dance good is one impressive skill”. He doesn’t phrase it as girly, gay or feminine, and he wanted to watch me. The best part? I didn’t even bring up dancing, he just suggested to come by.
There were also some potential gymnasium students touring on an open house today, and people in my group were their tourers. So my crush suggested me and him walk up to the potential new comers and acting super gay like saying ”hey girllll 😍😍😍” and ”Yaaassss kweeeeennnn 😍😍💅💅”… gurl. But when I called him out like ”why do you wanna act homo with me, huh?” He like quietly shut it down and got quiet. Now when I think about it it was probably not the best thing to say in that situation.
The people in my group are also shipping me and him together and calling him a femboy and such. And while a straight as a ruler guys would go crazy after an hour, he seems completely fine with it. In fact, it almost seems like he’s enjoying it. And when I said how I wanted him to become a femboy, he was like ”you would like that, wouldn’t u? Submissive.” HELLO???
My other friends, my crush and I were walking towards the train and for some reason my friend gave me her receipt, and my crush did the same. And he was like ”so whenever u think of me you can look at this receipt 🥰” And also today he asked me what program I picked for the individual classes coming up this spring and he was like ”pick criminology so that we can go to the same school” (he wants to become a police officer) but when he asked one of my friends about her choices, it solely was about him wanting to know what he picked, not that he wasted her to go to the same school as him.
At lunch he said that I ”needed” a gay bear, aka a gay person who is kinda fat and hairy. Our other friend said ”so you!” And he said no but it almost sounded a bit sarcastic.
During another class, we sat beside each other and I did that thing where you make your knees touch, and if the other one doesn’t move then that’s a pretty clear sign the person values your physical touch. Well I did that and guess what. He didn’t move. In fact he put his arm around my shoulder for a little while.
And today we had English class and it really felt like we were playing eye tag with each other, like he was smiling and looking away but occasionally looking at me and he was fidgeting. And when he told me that I should become a male stripper i was like ”me becoming a stripper is your true desire huh?” And he said no and shook his head, but in a really ironic way.
So in today’s math class he kept calling me honey for some reason in a subtly gay voice. We were playing some sort of game, and he reached me all the rules and such, and when I took my sweet time or made a wrong move he was like ”honey hurry up” or ”honey you made me win” or something like that.
Ok so our school went skating, and he hasn’t gone skating before and I had some rods, so he said something along the lines of ”we can share a rod and go skating together like lovers” idk if this explicitly means something but it definitely was an interesting word choice
The absolute first thing I noticed today was how he chose me over the person who he usually sits next to in class. That insinuates that he really values me as a person. This might be false, but I have a faint memory of him started to smile when he saw that I sat behind the desk that he was initially walking towards. He actually walked towards that other person before he saw me, but when he noticed me he deliberately changed direction to sit with me.
In pe I think he mirrored my body language. Like when I crossed my arms he did too, and when I stretched out my legs (we sat beside each other on the floor) he did too. He also called me a gay twink in a gay voice, and he even asked me about my previous crushes.
Today in math class my crush had some sort of candy and he said I could get it if I looked up and stuck my tongue out. He doesn’t do that kinda stuff with anyone else, and I called him freaky as hell. And when I sneezed he said bless u in a really gay voice and said I was his obedient femboy. Like huh?? And then when he said that he was hot (warm) even though it was like -5 degrees outside, and I was like ”huh, r u hot?” And then he accused me of calling him hot. Like gurl ur only hearing what u wanna hear.
Our whole friend group also joked with him by saying that there was a word he needed to find that didn’t really exist and then he was like ”tell me the word now” in a flirty voice. And when I didn’t comply he was like ”fine, I’ll not talk to u for the rest of the week” and I could see him SMILING, and then he said that this was our first real argument while he was smiling hard.
And when he said that I should become a male stripper for the teacher my friend said that me becoming a male stripper was his true desire and he just said no but shook his head but in a very ironic way. I don’t know if the irony was intentional or not but it definitely made me raise an eyebrow.
I also love how my whole friend group is basically shipping us and calling us ”their favorite yaoi”. Idk why but he doesn’t let me follow him on TikTok at all because I’m gonna stalk his reposts and ”bully him”. Idk exactly what that means and/or if this has a deeper meaning but idk.
In science class I was just walking around on google earth, and then after class he asked me if I was olaying geoguessr, to which I replied no, because I was not. This may seem minor, but it does suggest that maybe he’s actively watching me in class and studying what I’m doing.
When I started playing geoguessr, he wanted to play with me. Actually, during that entire class he was like smiling and looking happy.
For some reason he also wanted to visit a sex toy shop with me (😭). Our last class was kind of free, so I decided to head home a little earlier, but right as I was going out I met with him as he was going back to class with his group which also consisted of people in the same friend group as us. But instead of saying like “aren’t you gonna wait for us?” He said “aren’t you gonna wait for me?” Like he was insinuating that me and him was more important than the whole group.
I was also showing him my liked songs playlist on Spotify, and then he put on a super gay song, and it was potentially like targeted at me.
When other people called him a rawdogger, he replied ”well I can only be one for [my name]”.
And when we had secret Santa at school he had forgotten to wrap the present and write the name of the person receiving his gift, and he came to ME asking if I wanted to go with him and see if there was any chance we could wrap the gift. During our little bonding moment he did multiple things that I would consider a little flirty, like teasing me verbally and stuff. I teased him back a little by saying he didn’t have a brain considering he forgot wrapping his gift. And like when we were walking towards the classroom he put his hand on my shoulder.
Today when we walked into class he had the clear option to sit with the guy he usually spends time with, but he decided to go sit with me. I could then see how he occasionally looked at me for a short period of time, tho this could be wrong since I only saw it in the corner of my eye, and we all know that our vision is not the best there.
When we were walking towards our lockers we made eye contact and he looked a little bit awkward, and he made a gesture with his head, not the straight ”sup” gesture but something else, indicating that he felt that eye contact. The same happened when we were walking out from science class.
In science class I was just walking around on google earth, and then after class he asked me if I was olaying geoguessr, to which I replied no, because I was not. This may seem minor, but it does suggest that maybe he’s actively watching me in class and studying what I’m doing.
When we had our graphic design class, me and my friend jokingly searched up like omegaverse and other gay stuff, and he was like ”omg I’ve got those types of videos on my fyp before!”. Ok I promised I wouldn’t make any comments but what do you mean you got gay omegaverse bl on your feed?? And when me and our friend were like ”OF COURSE you got that on your feed” he didn’t react like ”BRO IM NOT GAY I PROMISE”, he just brushed it off like it was nothing.
I then jokingly searched for yaoi and then quickly deleted the tab, and he was like ”what did you search for??” And I was like ”NOTHING” and then he side eyed me with a big smile for a few seconds. He then proceeded to try and force to open my search history, to which I responded with physical force. It was a fun playful moment for me.
And also he just seems a tiny bit more awkward around me then other people, it’s just a vibe idk how to explain it.
I don’t think I’ve said this, but on multiple occasions he has offered to hang out like just us. Maybe go fishing (he loves fishing so he’s inviting me to something he values) and sometimes he goes to my locker in between classes to talk to me which I think is sweet.
Maybe I’m really really delusional but today me and my crush were talking about our favorites in our group, and I picked him, and some other friends, and he picked me and some others. He said that you shouldn’t treat others differently, but that there are certain people ”you like more” and then he looked at me with a little smirk when he said a little more. And also he initiated this conversation about preferences out of nothing, so it’s possible that he planned this conversation out to kinda let me in on something.
This is also quite minor, but when we got another assignment in class, he immediately went back to me to ask if he wanted to do it together, even if he got the information from one of his other favorites. And he asked if I wanted to do it about Eurovision, which he KNOWS is one of my favorite things. He was like ”I can just bullshit my way through”
Ok so today we had an assignment in sex ed, to pair up different people to analyze how norms and prejudices affect our expectations of which people get together. Btw when we were done my crush immediately went to me to check everyone else’s with me, just wanted to throw that in there. And he said ”there’s gotta be at least one gay couple in here” and I said ”well duh it’s us” and he just looked sarcastically angry and like growled like he was angry but he was clearly joking
(Context, we gamed like 4 hours the day before) I asked him if he wanted to play the next day, so I thought that he would text me the next day, but he didn’t so I had a mental breakdown thinking he hated me (the reason as to why I sent that previous message) but it turns out that he thought that he waited for ME, and he asked me why I didn’t call him, and we turned it into a funny thing rather than a serious conversation. And he didn’t come for the first lesson today, so I texted him asking where he was, and he replied like ”honey I’m in bed” like idk maybe I’m overthinking it and overanalyzing it BUT IT FELT SO FLIRTATIOUS. And our friends printed out a pic of an anime guy pregnant for a movie we had to make (don’t ask any questions) and he was like ”that’s gonna be you tonight” and he looked at me with a slightly flirtatious expression. We’ve had sex ed for a while now and we hadn’t learned anything about homosexual intercourse so I said as a joke ”I’m so sad we haven’t learned anything about gay sex because we both need to learn about it” (ironically we did have a lesson about it that day after I said that) and he was like ”WE, as in you and me, need to learn about it”. And also, whenever i talk about something random, he seems genuinely interested in what I have to say, even tho I know he probably doesn’t care for shit. And he said that he played some Minecraft mod with that Estonian guy from earlier, and he was like ”I immediately thought that we could play this sometime” which was sweet. And I can’t stress this enough, but the GLANCES. And also, this is true almost all of the time. Whenever I’m at point a and he’s at point, he almost always walks towards point a. I started worrying about my argument suggesting that he’s not doing the things he does to me with everyone else, because I rarely see him with other people, but then I remembered that the reason as to why he isn’t with other people is because he is with me all the time soooooo. And today we were gaming again, and I think he said something important: ”it doesn’t matter how boring the game is, if it’s with someone you like, it’s gonna be fun”. And i wanted to see how far he’d agree with me on anything, so I told him I wanted him to rate a few songs from mh liked songs playlist. They were all completely different generes (Eurovision, ncs music, kpop, slow, indie rock) and he said that every single one was good. The only one he kinda disagreed on was a kpop demon hunter song, but even then he said ”i mean it isn’t that I think the songs are bad, they’re just not for me, and they’re cringe” to which I agreed btw because they ARE. I don’t think it’s because he’s a listener to all kinds of music, because he told me he mainly listens to like rock and indie rock so I don’t know why he would agree that a Eurovision song was good if it isn’t his style at all. Yesterday was quite interesting. At lunch, me and my crush was talking quite a bit and our other friend was like ”[his name], stop flirting with [my name] and start eating your food!” (He was the last person to finish his food) and instead of being like ”no wtf?? I’m just joking” he was like ”you’re just jealous of this” and I said like ”wdym by that, that we’re a couple??” And I don’t really remember his answer but I do remember that it wasn’t a hard no or a no at all. We also took that sexuality test again because he asked me what my sexuality was again because I joked about being straight and he was like ”but do you think you are gay or bisexual or straight?” Like why would you care so much for my sexuality. I have my fair share of queer friends and I don’t give a FUCK what their sexualities are. And once again he picked the mostly option. Also I’m seriously wondering if he’s thinking fondly of religion as a whole, because he was like ”homosexuality isn’t wrong, religion made it wrong” HUH. BABE YOURE CHRISTIAN YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT?? Btw whenever we like have ”fake arguments” he’s always like ”well now I’m filing for divorce” in a sarcastic way and then he side eyes me with a smirk. And today at lunch me and one of our other friends went before the others. We sat at the right end of the cafeteria, whilst the others went to sit at the left end of the cafeteria. I figured that they’d either go to us or we’d go to them, but I genuinely didn’t have the energy to go across the cafeteria just to sit with them. Then my crush messaged me privately, and this was our conversation:
My crush: where are you sitting?
Me: at the back
My crush: please come to the other side
Please come
Me: I’m too damn lazy to move ❤️❤️
My crush: come
Don’t be like that
Come
😊😊
Me: come yourself instead🥺🥺
My crush: no please come we have good seats
Me: out of sight out of mind I don’t see yall 🔥🔥
My crush: please come I’m begging
Me: honey I’m too lazy to move ❤️
My crush: come or otherwise I’m not gonna talk to you in math
Me: make me
My crush: come I wanna have a conversation, without you it’s boring
Me: wait I’ll come when I’ve finished my food😊
Like he REALLY wanted me to. And btw, when he sent the ”without you it’s boring” he immediately left the chat, like yk when you send a risky text and you get nervous, but that’s probably me reading WAY into it
And also, I have quite visible eczema, and his sister had it too. His mother had made some kind of herbal bath for her and her eczema disappeared. He strongly recommended this herb, but he couldn’t think of the name so he called his name just because he wanted to give me the right one. I might be delusional but it sure as he’ll qualifies as effort
Ok so our dynamic has shifted from casual flirting to actual relationship role play. Like now whenever he messes something up that affects me, I like ”omg no I’m gonna have to think through this relationship 😔😔” and he’s like ”well I’m filing for divorce and taking the kids”. And idk if this means anything, but today when we went back to class, I took an awkward route back, and he was like ”why are you going this way?” And I was like ”well I was following you” and he was like ”awww 🥰” like that feels like he’s implying something romantic in situations where the objective energy is neutral. I feel like straight boys may joke about being a couple, but then it’s separate and isolated incidents, not a continuous pattern that never ”stops” just like how straight boys would handle it. And like he only acts like this with me. With everyone else he’s an ordinary friend, but with me he acts like we’re a couple
Category 2: Is he queer or is he queer baiting?
Maybe the most queer revealing part about him is how he’s using quiet coded language. Like he’s using words like iconic, twin, using emojis like ❤️🫶 completely unironically. And sometimes he uses those emojis in the same way we use 🥰 in sarcastic situations. Idk if this is relevant but it feels like it.
Another pretty clear sign is how he knows about floptok (if u don’t know about floptok it’s basically the gayest fandom on TikTok). And I don’t mean like ”oh I know who jiafei is, but she’s just an ai character” no I mean he knows about the labussy war, the danish war, President Deborah, cupcakke, everything. And he likes it. He specifically stated that he needed to ”educate himself” because he’s been ”missing out”.
One other small thing is how I caught him watching a yt video called something like ”making straight dudes accidentally date each other” like hun if you’re so straight why do u like guys dating each other.
A few weeks ago, I was talking with this other girl in my class whom I’m quite acquainted with (she’s not in our friend group btw) and we someone ended up discussing how gay the guys in our class are. And she said that my crush may seem straight but that she knows that he’s a little gay twink on the inside, and I mentioned this to my crush. And this is where it gets interesting, because if you were genuinely straight, you’d want to attract girls right? And if you’re told that you’re perceived as a masculine gay basically, you’d want to change everything about you that could be perceived as gay by others. But he didn’t change a thing to become more straight, he just brushed it off as nothing. And this was weeks, or even months ago, btw.
More signs he could be queer is his reactions to people calling him gay. He doesn’t react the typical straight boy way, aka getting super mad and shouting ”no I’m straight!”. Instead he gets a shutdown and looks a bit flustered, like someone touched a sensitive part of him. And how is this relevant? That’s the exact same reaction I get when someone calls me gay. In fact, when my friend called him gay, his reaction was simply ”uhh ok?”
One of the bigger signs he’s queer is a situation I call ”the flower power situation”to summarize it, me, him and my friend were just taking a walk and he found a cute flower on the side walk. He picked it up and put it behind his ear, looking cuter than ever. This shows he’s comfortable showing a bit of vulnerability and femininity. But when we approached the rest of the school class (we were walking during p.e) he immediately tossed it away before anyone could see him wearing that flower, switching to his masculine and non queer side. This could potentially show that he wants to show is feminine and vulnerable side, but he isn’t ready becsue he’s afraid of judgement, a feeling that’s super common in the queer community. But when we were waking back to the school building we found another flower, but this time he put it on me instead of on him. When he saw me wearing that flower, he said ”omg why r u so cute??” Hence the quote earlier. After a while we were finally approaching the school building, and me and my friend were trying to get him to wear another flower, but he flat out refused. No laughing, no joke behind it, no nothing. I even took his phone because I wanted to trade his phone for him wearing the flower, but he was like ”nah I’ll get it on Monday”. This also plays on the idea that he wants to show his feminine side but only for the right people. At least for now.
Before pe I showed him a vid (don’t judge me on this one) called ”which lgbt food item has the juiciest 🐱?” And then there were ”lesbian leg of lamb” ”gay grape” ”bisexual butter chicken” and ”trans Thai green curry” I said he was the bisexual butter chicken and he said ”yea I am”.
While playing geoguessr, he, once again, deliberately chose his alias to be Fruityman321 which is an obvious example for queer or gay.
And also he admitted to finding guys attractive on TikTok and stuff. Like not only Ryan Reynolds which is universally accepted as the one guy straight men can find attractive
This probably means absolutely nothing, but we all know that he’s a Christian. He even has one of those cross necklaces. But it’s rarely actually visible, since it’s tucked away under his shirt. But I mean, he has admitted to not going to church or praying, so he isn’t really a performing Christian. I also got him to say that lady Gaga was more holy than holy Mary and Jesus
Our friend group is also very accepting of the lgbtq community, and 4-5/9 are in the community. And he seems pretty accepting and nonchalant about it, like he doesn’t give a fuck at all. He even wanted to guess everyone’s sexualities at one point. Like he’s very obsessed with sexuality for being allegedly straight. Speaking of him being allegedly straight, he’s like obsessed with saying that he’s ”probably the straightest one here”. Like if u were comfortable in ur sexuality, you wouldn’t need to convince it for everyone and yourself all the time. You know who does this? People who are insecure and/or questioning. It’s like he’s trying to convince it for himself more than us. He’s also obsessed with yaoi for some reason.
And idk if I’ve said this already but the difference in behavior between him being with us vs him being with his bros is outstanding. Like when he’s with his bros his voice is very low pitched with no emotional expression and his body language is very cold. But when he’s with me he’s much more expressive, his voice is higher and he’s much more warm as a person.
Our school has a local ”newspaper” that’s basically filled to the brim with a bunch of satire, and there’s a section where people can send their hear me outs, and my crush’s idea was to send the flag of floptropica and our president Deborah Ali Williams. So he wanted to strongly associate with queer culture, got it.
I apologize for any grammar errors and stuff potentially being repeated. This text is made up of multiple texts I’ve written to my friend, so it’s going to be written a little weirdly.
But what do yall think?