So for the sake of the story, I’ll call my ex Roy (22M).
I’m 27F and I have a baby from a previous relationship. My son is under two, so naturally he takes up a huge part of my life and attention. I was honest about that from day one. I told Roy about my child the first day we spoke. He said he was completely okay with it and even seemed excited to eventually meet him.
I met Roy a few months ago after switching universities. He was one of my classmates. From the beginning he was incredibly sweet, respectful and attentive. He was actually the one who approached me first and offered me a ride home because I usually took the train.
After that, we basically talked nonstop. Day and night. We had amazing chemistry, could speak openly about anything and genuinely became emotionally close very quickly.
Now, I’ll admit this: I usually struggle to connect with people romantically because I’ve been hurt a lot in the past. I’m normally the emotionally distant one in relationships. So opening up to him was a huge deal for me. The age difference bothered me slightly at first too, but eventually I stopped caring because everything felt so natural between us.
Things became serious pretty fast. We introduced each other to our families, I met his friends, we spent loads of time together, went on dates constantly, and honestly I was over the moon with him.
Then he met my son.
My baby immediately liked him and Roy seemed to adore him too. The first time they met he even bought him a gift. Later on he bought a baby car seat and even a baby bed for his place so I wouldn’t have to constantly bring my own things if we stayed over there. Naturally, I thought this man genuinely accepted my child and saw us as a package deal.
At one point we were both preparing to go on separate holidays. I was leaving for Morocco for 10 days with my parents and my baby, while Roy planned a trip with his newly single best friend, Ben (21M).
Right before I left, we spent a few days together. Thursday we went to university together and I stayed at his place afterwards. Friday he cancelled plans with me because he wanted to go out drinking with Ben’s family who were visiting from abroad. That upset me a bit, but I brushed it off.
Saturday we spent the day with his parents and my baby. His parents absolutely adored my son. They were calling themselves grandma and grandad and were genuinely so excited about him. It honestly felt wholesome and reassuring.
Afterwards, I wanted to stay at Roy’s place for a while so my baby could nap before I travelled the next morning, but suddenly Roy started making excuses about how he was tired and how it would be better if my son slept properly at home. I didn’t think too much of it at the time.
The next day I left for Morocco.
While I was away, I started noticing him becoming distant. I tried to ignore it at first. I tried flirting with him, talking more, calling him, sending thoughtful messages, buying him gifts. For context, throughout our relationship I’d bought him things like an Apple Watch, a silver chain, limited edition perfume, and even gifts for his family too. He never had an issue accepting any of it, even after we broke up.
But despite all that, I could feel something was wrong.
We had always agreed that if either of us had doubts or problems, we would communicate honestly. So I directly asked him multiple times if he was having second thoughts about us. Every single time he looked me in the face and said no.
Then today happened.
We met up and he was acting strange the entire time. Eventually I asked him directly what was going on and told him to just be honest with me.
It took him about 15 minutes to finally say it.
He told me he feels like some things between us are “forced,” that I’m “suffocating” him, and that he “can’t do this anymore with the baby.” He said this isn’t something that can be changed.
Hearing that honestly broke me.
I got out of the car and sat down trying not to cry. He followed me and we sat there silently for a while while I tried to hold myself together. Eventually I completely broke down crying. I’m not usually someone who begs people to stay. If anything, I’m usually the one ending relationships. But this absolutely destroyed me.
At one point I walked away crying and he followed me before eventually going back to the car. I turned around at one point and completely collapsed emotionally in the middle of the street. He came back, hugged me, told me to stop crying, and I just kept trying to explain that my baby isn’t some burden or problem.
But in the end, he still ended things.
I asked him if he was sure, if he’d regret this later, if he had really thought it through. He told me he loves me and probably will regret it, but that he’s young and doesn’t want the responsibility that comes with being involved with someone who has a child.
We drove back mostly in silence. Said goodbye with a kiss and an “I love you,” like we always did.
I honestly don’t think I’ll ever see him again.
And despite everything, I think what hurts the most is realising that all the love and effort he showed toward my child apparently still wasn’t enough for him to actually choose us in the end.
Am I wrong for being this heartbroken?