I’m F(23) and my bf is M(21) and we have been thinking of moving in with his parents for a long while now. They have a small 1 bedroom apartment but fit everyone in their and also need help cleaning up. My family is against this and they believe that a place like that is too small for me to move into. They say that I’ll be too much of a burden on my boyfriend because he has to help his dad with finances, but his dad is not making him pay things like rent and other things he’s just helping his family while helping himself. For some background around a year ago I moved to Sacramento with him in a two bedroom apartment life was good and I was just waiting until I graduated. I promised him that as soon as I graduate, we can move back and right now money is tight, but we have enough to move away, and Family helps us pay for the rent that we have here. I don’t want to move back in with my family because I’ve had many problems with them that I don’t want to share personally here, but I just feel like a worst person when I’m living with my family and I’ve asked my family before if they would let my boyfriend move in with me in their house, but they’ve said no. So it’s a tough decision but in all honestly, I like southern California better than northern California and my boyfriend has promised that he would not let anything bad happen to me in which I’ve known him because we’ve been together for over seven years almost.
I’m completely OK with the fact of moving in with them and I have tested it out before by living there for a month. I love his family and I love how happy and nice they are as well as how supportive they are of me. I feel like I would be completely 100% OK there but my family says it’s not the American dream and that you have to have a place by yourself in Orange County. To which I said that it is racist for them to degrade their culture and say that it’s not the American way when most cultures do have their mother and father live with them throughout their whole life. I personally don’t see a problem with this, and I would actually enjoy having them with us for a very long time.
And we have talked about that when we have children, we would want our own place just so our children can grow up to live a normal life and to have space for themselves to grow. So in the end, his parents would be OK in a house by themselves that a down payment that that we helped them put down and we would be OK either in a condo or a house depending on what we choose it is a big decision and I know I’m still young and he is as well but we’ve been talking about this for over a year and his parents are OK with it. My parents were not OK with it.
I feel like my family treats him so differently and every time I make a choice it’s what my family wants and not what I want and it’s always the wrong choice. I know it’s a tough decision because my family might look at me differently, but in all honestly, I love him and I want to succeed with him and I know that he wants to help me do that.
i’m just looking for some advice on the situation because honestly, I don’t have a lot of people around me that aren’t racist and aren’t very judgmental. I know that it’s crazy for somebody as young as me to move back, but I feel like if I don’t do it now then I’ll never make a choice for myself ever again.