So back in September, iirc, I took a psych evaluation that finally got my diagnoses narrowed down. I was still confused as to why I had depressive type schizoaffective, but I was working it out in my head and with providers (my mind defines stuff one way and struggles to alter that, and I had always assumed schizoaffective would come with both symptoms around the same onset time, which was not the case for me. That's all the confusion was, I don't disagree with the schizo part even if it's taking time to fully accept).
Well, this evaluation suggested I join a partial hospitalization program, or day program / day treatment.
I finally got in...
And the first thing they did was dismiss my entire evaluation.
I gave them the report during my intake, and they decided that I couldn't possibly have any form of schizo. Why?
It's not as common in women.
Visual hallucinations aren't that common.
Usually it starts later in life.
They said I'm just borderline (which my therapist of over a year, who works with people who have bpd, doesn't agree with because while I present some symptoms I don't have a lot of the important ones) and that stress is the only reason I ever experience any of this.
They wanted me to get off all my APs because I "didn't need them" despite telling them that the worst episode I'd had to date occurred on an accidentally lowered dose of my current meds. All they said was "I wasn't there so I don't know what caused it" and repeated that they wanted me to go off of them.
He took me off one of the two, and soon enough I was experiencing thoughts where I thought I needed to do things that would physically harm myself. I told them this, and they didn't meet with me to tell me what to do about it.
I did discharge now, but I'm still pissed about how things went with them. They were supposed to help, not make me feel like a fraud the entire time. Not make me question if my perception is real when I already struggle with that about other things.