As the title says, I’m new and I’m very nervous posting this. I’ve been struggling with an ED for years but I only named it last year and admitted to myself I have a problem. I have been recovering since last August, but relapsed at the end of April. I struggled with many health complications after having my daughter that caused me to gain weight and keep it on.
I’m going to a convention this weekend and have worked really hard on my cosplay. Not only with hand making it but I’ve been trying to reach my goal of what I want to look like. I was feeling confident and happy with where I’m at now with my health so this is something I wanted to do for myself, I even entered a contest. But now it’s just proving to be super triggering. This happened to me last year too the being triggered and feeling pressured to meet a certain goal weight. I’m still going to go because it’s the one nice thing I do for myself each year. I love the community. I just wish things could be different for me and I didn’t have the mindset I have. I’m in therapy already. I’m new to openly talking about all of this so I’m not really sure who to talk to because there’s such a stigma around it.
I keep telling myself, just a few more days and then I can take some pressure off of myself. I set a goal for myself and I’m almost there. But now I’m running out of time bc it’s on Saturday, and it has turned into a relapse that I won’t go into detail about bc I’m not sure what’s allowed to be discussed. I was doing really good and in a healthy state of mind, my body was healing finally and now I feel like back at square one with relapsing. I’m sorry I’m not even sure where I’m going with this post but I figured I’d start somewhere. This is a huge step for me so please be gentle. Anyone else experience this too when it comes to events?