Worse after repentance
For the past three years, while serving as a church leader, I was living a hidden life of sin—falling into sexual sin, porn, masturbation, fornication, prostitutes (on & off but I never really cared deep down). Recently, something happened that I believe was God’s warning, and by His mercy I truly repented. I’ve turned away from that life, and now all I want is Jesus.
What I don’t understand is why, since genuinely seeking God and letting go of that secret sin, things seem to be getting harder instead of better. I never struggled with anxiety, stress, or physical issues before, but now I’m experiencing all of them. Yet when I was living in sin, my body seemed fine. It has been one week
Prayer and time in God’s presence bring relief, but it doesn’t last long.
I’m going on a three-day retreat next week to seek God, because my honest question is: Lord, if I’ve turned away from sin and am sincerely seeking You, why does it feel like things are getting worse? What do I do?