u/ClownMaterial

Grasping claws awaiting its prize

The purpose of which I could not surmise

Tears pouring from broken eyes

Staring a hole within a potential interest

Slivers of thought like clouds in a clear sky

Mental anguish untapped by a monster unknowable

Can they sense my gaze, lying in wait?

Will my fear drive me to flee?

I musn't know, for it is always too late

My eyes wide open yet blind to all

Kind intentions muddled by predatory instinct

Life driven to the brink yet the fortress remains unbroken

The shadows draw close as I retreat into a realm of ignorance

Drawn out by even the slightest pleasant token

Exchanges resurrect hope yet decay in an instant

Why must I be my tormentor?

A jailor of my own, an executioner's throne

Cultivate bouts of paranoia as I draw life's gift

Freedom so choking while my yearning is sustained

Reminders of pain and pleasure bubbling up

Love just around the corner yet eyes unable to detect

Precious time spent upon moments of mourning

Without regard for wasteful emptiness

Sprinting to escape from pained thoughts

Remaining empty of all motion

Walking down halls with echoing footsteps

I wander through a land of my own design

Hewn by the hands of a coward

Can I escape what remains forever by my side?

Dancing among broken graves

The shattering silence gives way

To horrors far beyond

A mirror from which I'll be shorn

With skin coarse and tight

A wicked heart beating in fright

With eyes peering from the outside

The question begs with great desperation

Who am I? Why am I?

Crushed by the twisted mind

Molding a vessel with a gaze unwavering

I prepare myself for the grave

Yet hold on out of fear

Self preservation well taught

Though the ropes remain taut

I shudder at the thought of it all

It never left, always waiting

An embrace and gentle caress

Pulling me under once more

Identity losing sight of all I must be

Yet must I be the fool?

Dreadful hands grab hold as I smile

Though hollow and wretched it becomes

My eyes crazed and bloody

A vision that grows muddy

Truth brings great pain yet is all I seek

Hiding within the guise of the meek

Lurking deep within yet boiling close to the surface

Is the rage and anguish worth it?

Blind to all but myself yet eyes wide open to catch glimpses of something that could be.

Hello everyone, my chosen online name is Clown, or Necromancer (yes, I know). And although I am 17 and a male as of now, I'll become an adult in just about a month's time. I can see it clearly, although it pains me that my childhood has been so lacking, and I can't bear but to ignore that reality as of now. I am similar to each and every one of you, as I myself become incredibly obsessive when drawn in by kind words and extended close proximity. I am exceedingly lonely and have nothing, which may be a deciding factor in much of my obsession, but it is not the only thing that remains effective in my mind set. Either way, that would be too much to explain here, and too late either way.

I wish all of you a wonderful day/night, and I hope to provide greetings soon.