u/Cloverhunting2008

I just wanted to write and say thank you. I haven’t seen you in a long time but luckily I’ve met a few people in the last few years that remind me of the good you remind me of. I’m not sure if it even exists anymore except in my memories but those memories have helped more than you could ever imagine so again, thank you. You were the best.
Months ago I had a dream where you said detox and since I had already done that where I was I figured it was just another challenge, misdirection, etc. but for a while now I know that this can only end one way. I’m ready for this part to end, are you?
It’s crazy that people with everything still have the hate for you :) I miss all those times with you.and if it wasn’t for them I’d be lost and hopeless. Those times are gone but they still live in my heart and you do too. I hope you’re living wild and free and have all the things that make you happy wherever you are now.
Love you long time

I don’t know if you’ll read this but just in case I wanted to let you know I’m thinking about you. I realized yesterday something you wanted from me. You were right to. So many things were easy for me with you, almost everything. I loved you just the way you were, imperfections and all and I’m grateful you did the same for me. I’m sure we hurt each other unintentionally over the years and I’m sure we both regret it.

Of course I never meant to hurt you, it was easy to see that after I realized. What wasn’t easy was realizing how much I had been drug down back then by carrying things with the Army and kids. I self medicated and isolated more over time and know I wasn’t the person you met, or didn’t act the same and we didn’t do the same things. I was all ready a year and a half ago to get back to myself, hoping to join you in the feelings we always had for each other as more than just friends again. That’s why I told you the things I did. But there were other things I needed to fix and they became especially hard last year. I’m so glad your dad was around, it means the world to me. Things were so shook up it really messed with the PTSD/trust issues in me, plus I needed to sort out that night I told you about back then, where I had the dreams I’d hold on through everything. I’m guessing your dad being there means you guys were too. I’m grateful.

Thank you. For being my best friend, for my son, for the mom you are, for the love that never left my heart. This past year or so was hard but it worked out all the things I couldn’t on my own. I need to get back in shape for you and me and the kids and quit the self medicating I did for so long. I’m on it.

I’m most thankful to God for giving us to each other but I’m grateful to you and your family for being there for me when I didn’t know what was going on.

Thank you beautiful.