As parents, just know unless you can truly be vulnerable and completely transparent, open and mature with one another, do NOT get into an interfaith relationship because whether a child says this or not, when both parties are heavily committed to their religion, this really affects them. I’ve never put anything so vulnerable on here but I find it impossible to talk to anyone I know because everyone has their own religion and has their own perspective. This is going to be a long story. Please be open. Please don’t judge. I grew up in an African household, father Muslim, mother Christian. And I was raised a Muslim, my father’s side and very devoted to Islam, we pray five times a day, fast all during Ramadan and everything. I even went to Islamic school for years, I can pray and read Quran.my mum on the other hand is a truly devoted Christian. She goes to church at least 3x a week. And recently, she’s even more devoted to church. When I was younger once she took me to church and I told my older siblings (half) and they told my dad. Which became a slight issue. Now when she takes us (not always) we don’t tell our dad. It’s basically a secret. And in all honesty Christianity truly is a beautiful religion, and as a non arab muslim there is a benefit of learning a religion in a language you understand. But as I grew especially during lockdown, I found my way myself into Islam. Started praying on my own and having a better understanding of Islam. This was a huge step in my religious life as growing up Islam appeared very harsh to me. In my Islamic school, children were judgmental, not being able to recite Qur’an, teachers spoke so much of hell, and recitation and memorisation was very strict, so many du’as, so many rules. In all honesty to me Islam: judgy, harsh, mean, brutal. Christianity: nice, welcoming, forgiving, community. But of course as you grow you see both strength and weaknesses of both side. I met Muslims that are kind, full of faith, loving. Someone even told me: the duas act as a form of guidance, Islam is a way of life not a dictator and that truly changed my perspective. Although I haven’t met many like this, the few Muslims I’ve met made me more warm. Christianity to me has always been more open, however I just don’t like my mum’s approach.
I’m older now, I’m 18. I may not want to go to “church” it feels uncomfortable she lies to my dad, he’s a good guy. It’s unfair, it’s my exam season. The practise of both has torn me apart. I feel in no connection with God at all. In every religion, every practise it feels I have failed.
- I am not asking this for this thread to convert me
- I want to figure out my path myself
It’s just hard, it feels very unfair and ridiculous. Everytime I try to talk to people, someone tries to sway me to one religion than the other. Is this fair? Is my mum being fair? I want to learn more about both religions but on my own grounds. I want to be able to say no to my mum without feeling like I’m insulting her. So people in interracial relationships, please be open to asking the brutal questions. - Are you fine with me teaching my child about my religion
- Are you fine with the child choosing to not follow your religion
- We should allow the child to decide her own path.
I don’t know if this is a religious or cultural aspect but I know whatever decision I make will dissapoint the other party. Brutal truth is if along the line I found Christianity my Muslim family will probably drop me. And staying with Islam is only due to upbringing and nothing more at the moment.
If anyone has some advice, a website, or link introducing me to each side of religion. How to learn about these faiths. Any piece of advice I will really appreciate it. This is the reality of an interfaith relationship that is unstable.