Sorry I’m using a throwaway as my kids follow my main and this is the last thing I want them to know at the moment as they have big exams and this is possibly nothing.
I (53F) have had a fibrocystic mass for a good few years now and it had grown in size over the last 18 months so I went back to the local hospital for a monitoring mammogram and ultrasound. I’m used to these with having had the lump for some time so I wasn’t the slightest bit worried, expecting, at the very most that they might drain a particularly large cyst as I’m aware a fibrocystic mass doesn’t increase BC risk at all.
However, this time was markedly different; they found a dark grey mass in my breast and then started all the ‘How are you feeling in yourself?’ Questions which doesn’t suggest to me they liked the look of it at all. I didn’t get a BI-RADS score but they did a biopsy and gave me an appointment to come back. I have a scientific background so I like to think I have a responsible approach to dr. Google use but googling malignant lumps - well, I can see why they’re concerned.
The appointment is still a fortnight away and I am genuinely quite scared. I have ADHD so I tend to catastrophise but I’m really trying not to do that and channel my energy into planning what to do if the news is bad, and I also rationally know that also I have a great safety net. I’m British but I have excellent private health insurance so I’m going to be looked after quickly and nicely (the food surely cannot be as bad as the NHS!) with no bills and prolonged aftercare. But I also know that life will change for the long term and, I don’t know, it’s just scary. Cancer is always scary I think.
Sorry to vent into a void but I’ve been super lucky with my health up to now, compared to my peers. I had my gall bladder out but nothing major has really happened at all. I don’t know now to end this so I’m just going to stop waffling. Strength to you all, those with bad news and those with good x