UPDATE: IT PAUSED. MY EAR POPPED AND IT PAUSED! It didn't work yesterday when I did it intentionally but today my ear popped when i yawned and I wept because it stopped for quite a while. It's slowly returning but that kind of confirmed it's my eustachian tube dysfunciton (diagnosed years ago) so I'm treating that again now. God. I really hope anyone hearing the same thing gets relief and I hope this doesn't recur too much for me, even though I hear it returning already some.
I had a high pitched consant sound in quiet (bilateral and equal, like an old crtv starting up) for many years I learned to live with, and a random and infrequent very high pitched ringing sound (salvation army bell, right ear only, brought on by a medical treatment), and I just finally made peace with the bell, and pretty much immediately I have a new, right-ear-only sound. It is this deep rumble, like there's construction equiptment outside, and it is much loud and and more irritating than my original sound, and having a one-sided-sound really freaks me out. I had this on random days for the last two years but it would be for a very short time and seemed related to where I was or how I was sitting, but now it's just neverending regardless.
For context I'm autistic and chronically ill with a long list of diagnoses including mental health issues and it's just overwhelming all the things I've had to accept and try to live with and this just feels like a bridge too far. Sounds are masking it for now but they honestly have to be annoyingly loud, like 40-50% volume of my phone sitting with me or worse, where before I had gotten to like 10-20 being goood enough. I do have eustachian tube dysfunction and i am sick right now with a cold (not covid I tested) so I know getting better or getting treatment could help but I am afraid of the ENT because I had a traumatic event with the pressure-measuring machine as a kid and blah. Idk I just feel sad and hopeless and I had a meltdown last night because I just feel like I cannot keep accepting new and louder and more disruptive sounds in my ears and I know y'all know exactly the kind of miserable I'm talking about, just feels impossible. And everything says stress exacerbates it but idk how to be calm when I'm being faced with this. It feels like I could never get used to this because it actually feels like something vibrating???? Like it feels so strong and weird and not just like a sound. Ugh. Thanks for reading if you did....hope you all ever have a better luck day with yours than I am with mine.