Hey everyone! Was hoping anyone could chime in and give their thoughts/suggestions on my situation. For context, I’m a new ballet teacher! I danced professionally in a ballet company but have never taught before (I’m currently in my second year of teaching).
I’ve had a really rocky relationship with my boss, she’s constantly thrown me into the deep end as a new teacher with very little training and I was forced to just learn how to swim with no guidance really. As a result during my first year I made some mistakes with classroom management but nonetheless my work and choreography always exceeded expectations (according to her). Despite this, I continuously feel a sense of distrust with my boss, as though she doesn’t trust me and the whole faculty keeps an eye out on “the new teacher on the faculty” which is me. I often see them spying on me while I’m teaching, a random other teacher will just be in my watch window who has no business to micromanage what I’m doing (just pure nosiness). It’s a very cliquey type of faculty that’s been together forever and as a result they make it really hard for anyone new to join, I constantly am being watched, judged, talked about, excluded, bullied, etc.
This makes me angry because although I may be a new teacher, I do produce good dances and good work with my students. However I always feel as though I’m being micromanaged and not trusted with my students when I’m truly doing perfectly fine!! My students adore me and I produce good dances for recital, I’d prefer for my boss to leave me alone and not make me feel like I’m always doing something wrong. I don’t mean to toot my own horn however I think what’s most aggravating about this scenario is that the calibre of the studio is not even that high, yet they all act as though they have incredibly high standards and I’d go as far as to say that the other ballet teacher do not produce the same work that I do.
Yesterday I went with my class to my bosses classroom, so that our students can show their dances to eachother. It was through this that she got to see 4 of my dances I’ve made this year. After my night she told me she was really impressed with me. But she just kept her tone very stoic, but once again this felt like a backhanded compliment? Why is it a big shock and surprise that I produce good work? I find this to be very aggravating and as a result I feel unappreciated.