This causes me more anxiety that I would call sane. I have gone through a gastroscopy, and it does not compare to this. What do you mean "there just is "something"? But then again, how can "Nothing" exist? It does not make sense. Is our brain just too puny?

Better question: How do I know anything is real? If I can not prove anything, how tf do I prove I am not a consciousness floating infinitely through infinite time? Seriously, this is one of my greatest causes of anxiety. My brain makes up some sick belief where I am a suffering god who experiences eternal time unwillingly, and made this world to ease the suffering of erernal existnce. What the fk?

And no no no, my brain doesn't stop there, Every time I try to think about anything deeperx anything in physics, my dumbass tries to fo to the foundations since in a nerdy maths geek who likes axioms. The universe doesn't have axioms. IT IS SEARCHINF FOR SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT EXIST. EVERY TIME. I try to think, "Oh hey, I wonder *why* a higgs boson does this and that' and I'm immidiately jumping to trying to imagine nothing, which cannot exist because it contradicts the idea thaf we live in something. And what, more anxiety and I can't even chill and think about physics anymore?

The worst part is that this is periodic. Most days, it's not even there. Some months, it makes my life poopoo. By the time I get a therapist from the NHS. it is long gone, waiting to prey on me again. No psychological help has worked ao far.

Chat, idk what to ask, I'm at a loss for words. Going through this crap at the big 16 for like 2 years now. Atleast its some proof im smart or somethinf.

(TLDR START HERE)

How do I deal with thinking revursively about nothing? (I mean full nothing, "Why does anything exist if there are conditions for existence? Furthermore, how could nothing exist since it requires a domain to exist in? And lastly, if neither nothing nor something exists, and that means lofic exists fundamentally, ok where does logic come from?") I can not imagine anything of this scale, and it gives me a headache just thinking about it. Its 2:30 and I can't sleep. How do I actually deal with these feelings, and what helped toy?

I have a weird belief that I am a solipsist, creating the world to escape eternal time prison torture. Anyone else? How did you stop this sick belief?