I’m tired of taking care of my sibling
My mom died 3 years ago and it's been me at home with my dad. I have two adult older sisters that have full careers and live out of state. I have a little brother that is 17 years younger than me, I'm 25. When my dad first brought up that he wanted another child, me and my sisters all told him we didn't want another sibling and tried to explain to him why it was a bad idea. My dad is a workaholic that prioritizes his business and pastoring his church. I have memories of him not being there for us as kids and being emotionally unavailable, but it was "fine" because he paid for everything and our mom handled the rest. When we told him, he ignored all of us and went through with a very expensive IVF procedure multiple times to have our little brother.
Fast forward post Covid, our mom gets very sick and ends up passing away. I am living at home trying to finish my bachelors degree and grieving. For about a year we were in between live in nannies and I found myself being the main caregiver for my brother. Getting him ready for school, picking him up, feeding, etc. And as time passed on I noticed my father doing the same thing again. His carelessness in his children. He doesn't care about what his son is interested in, he doesn't like spending time with him, he gets easily irritated when my brother makes noise. He doesn't want him around, he just wanted a boy so his last name would "live on."
All very similar to my experience growing up, but the difference was I had a very wonderful mother. Now that my mom's not here I find myself constantly filling in as this child's mom. And it's been years and I'm tired. I didn't sign up for this, I didn't get pregnant. I see my peers living their lives and I feel sorry for my brother because I feel like no one cares about him, like the way a parent should.
When I'm around him I get irritated, and I don't snap but | go into autopilot to just get through the moments. It doesn't help that I'm the only one that cooks food, cleans the house, keeps things in order and everyone around me doesnt care.
When I come home I'm constantly angry and I don't feel like myself any longer. I have plans to move in September and I'm hopeful for that but I'm just tired.