I need to know if I am crazy for feeling this way.
I have been with my nonprofit which serves the disability space for 1.5 years. I was hired very shortly after the ED who hadn't been in an ED role prior to this, as the marketing and admin assistant. There was one part-time employee before that - but the org was pretty much entirely board-run for over a decade.
During my interviews, I asked for higher pay which they declined, but I know when a newer employee was hired and negotiated, he received it (I am a woman). I also, of course, took on many more duties than advertised, and eventually even got a title change (promotion) from assistant to coordinator, but was told it was a lateral move so a raise was not included despite even more duties, including facilitating trainings for a new certification program I was to launch. I had also made it clear many times that public speaking was not something I was comfortable with, but tried to look at it as a growth opportunity.
Since then, I have worked harder, received more praise, and solidified many business relationships - but still - no raise or talk of growth. We've expanded the team, but there is no one in a development position, so it falls under the ED who has made it clear that is not her strong suit. Instead, I am being tasked with solidifying other streams of income and more fundraising campaigns. I've raised concerns about the feasibility of certain things and the current economic climate but am usually met with slight defensiveness and an attitude of "well we have to try anyway".
It's been emphasized for some months now that we are not in a good spot financially, so it seems clear to me that no one will be getting a raise anytime soon. And instead of hiring a development professional, we are once again hiring for an advocacy position because of another random grant that was applied for (I swear the method was spray and pray). This is all very confusing to me because our efforts and focus seems to be on tabling as many events as possible every month (exposure?) when I believe our efforts should be focused on solidifying development. This has all led me to burnout and I guess I'm looking for some validation that I'm not crazy, but this structure is definitely crazy-making, and affirmation that I'm right to look for something else. Thanks for reading.
Edit: typo