Need help
Hello guys and sorry for the bad english, i really need help, i’m a 17yo who has depression i was diagnosticated like 1 year ago(but had since i was 12) thats a fact i want u to know so i can tell all this, so i started at 13 probably but at 14 i started no fap some times i did 7 days no fap, sometimes 3 and my max streak was 21 days and i was like that for 2-3 years till i became 16, i started again, i fapped a lot, i stoped to go to the gym, get shitty grades again, and started eating bad food, when i started no fap i was 82kg, 3 months later i was fit like 60kg with a lot of muscle this was when i was like 14-15, i say this cuz before all this i was shy and didnt have a lot of friends even had bad grades like 2.1 gpa for example,but when i was fit, i did a lot of friend and things like that even got a 3.0 gpa or 9.2/10 in mexico education system, friends i still have) when i was 16 i got a GF(1st gf of my life) i loved her so much, i was even comitted to a work so when i got out of highschool we could move in together, but one day she found out i fapped with porn so she broke up with me, i gained a lot of weight again around 82kg again, and i really feel like shit, i am a cristian since i was born, as a mexican my family is devoted to the church, but i feel like im an horrible sinner, i been talking to my ex so maeby we could be back together, but i really want to becomd a better man for her, i think the reason i losted the good habits i had was because of the fap, and i want to stop this bad habit, i want to become a better man not only for her, but for me so i can help many persons as i could, i think all the personal improvement i had when i was 14 was because i cared about my mental healt, for example i had very good habits like, Read, meditation, go to the gym, eat good food (still had depression at the time), but now that i fap a lot i feel my mental healt is really bad, so i think that is my main problem overall, u guys have any tips so i can become a better person that i was and i cant start no fap again?