u/CitronElectrical9587

I’m v curious how people met their best friend AFTER college or moving to a new city. My best friend in LA is someone I met through work. We don’t cross paths often at work but hang out at least once a week outside of work. We are extremely close but it took me ~7 years of living here to develop a friendship like this; and it’s about the same for her. We worked together for a few years before I randomly was like “hey wanna grab coffee??” And we instantly clicked.

Granted I moved here with a long term partner (now husband) so I never had the “push” to go find someone out of necessity or loneliness. I’d like to be a person that has a few local people I’m very close to that I can rely on. I have a friend that lives here that I grew up with but it’s a dude so it’s not like it’s ever going to be the same as a female friendship.

I’ve tried to be outgoing and go to art classes etc but usually everyone comes with a friend and the sessions are so short you don’t end up talking very deeply.

I also promise I’m not a loser. I’m a pretty attractive 30 YO with a good teaching job, I love kids but I don’t have any or want any, I love going out to eat, go to shows, I’m a baker on the side and have a lot of creative hobbies. I just don’t know how to make deep friendships!!

I came home today and nearly had a heart attack. The curtains on the window in the bedroom were drawn back, which is something we absolutely never do for that window. I immediately left and called my fiance to see if he had opened them that morning. He said he absolutely did not and to find security immediately.

I found an apt agent and she checked the digital log for my door lock. After my fiance left at 9:00 (I left at 7:30), a maintenance man entered and left the apartment 4 different times. I have it on recording of the apt agent admitting this. I don’t have the physical logs, but I saw them on the screen. She says that there was another unit that had a maintenance request and he went in ours on accident….4 times.

I feel so violated. I did not expect anyone to be in there, let alone a strange man. I found a pair of my underwear I’d kicked off in the middle of the night next to the window. He didn’t put them there but it’s just so gross to think someone was in my most personal space seeing the evidence of my personal private life without my consent to be there or any forewarning. I know it was an accident, as I guess I have no reason to suspect it was not At this point, but I’m so creeped out and pissed off about it. All I got was a “sorry, I’ll talk to him.” Wtf!! How are there not better systems in place to avoid this? What is my recourse here, even? Like apparently anyone can just enter my apartment whenever the f they want

I posted a few days ago to see if I was crazy about an experience I had (https://www.reddit.com/r/rs\_x/s/a9Jfv0l2ug)

Someone even thought I was making it up as rage bait which helped convince me to reach out to my doctor, along with all the other comments and my friends irl saying how weird it was.

I messaged my doctor on the portal and I reaallllly overthought the message, afraid their lawsuit alarms were going to go off and he wouldn’t contact me. He called me today and I told him the whole story and he validated everything I was saying and was very kind and comforting and told me he is going to relay the info to the office manager so she can reach out to me and then “figure out where we go from here”

Idk what’s going to happen, probably remedial training or something but I’m glad I ended up reaching out. It was weighing on me a lot, especially the day after when I actually had physical pain down there from the abruptness of the insertion of the ultrasound thing.

Anyway thanks for your support. The other subreddits I posted In just got me harassed by pro lifers lol.