1 month vape-free, vividly dreamt I hit a Juul. Like, full on readjusting a half empty pod. Immediately started crying. When I tell you that hit felt STRONG. I thought I gave back in. Woke up realizing it was a DREAM💀 I used to black out sometimes so for a second I thought it might’ve actually happened, but I don’t go out anymore. Like what is happening lmao
If you’ve been struggling, I see you and I hear you.
A perspective for anyone needing to quit:
3 weeks ago I sat with myself for a moment, walked to my trash outside and threw out my vape. It didn’t fully hit me til day 5 when I realized why I felt differently.
I thought there was a specific time, way, and reason I needed to quit, but thats just an imaginary barrier. Do you feel controlled by it? guilty? Does your chest hurt? Headaches? Embarrassed? Scared of the unknown future effects? All of those are reasons enough.
I vaped around 7yrs. while going through HS, college, now life transitions. I became extremely aware of how heavy my vaping was this past year. I was using it through new emotions that would come up, yet felt guilty getting new pods. It gave the illusion that it was solving the feeling/helping get through day to day with a buzz, only for the cycle to repeat and had made me feel dependent to start tasks.
I was tired of it. But many people around me vaped. Though I’m not around them anymore, so it became an excuse.
If this sounds like you, your vape isn’t your identity. Not only was vaping my issue, but strengthening my boundaries.
My cravings/ withdrawals are feeling an emotion, having to sit with it, and letting it pass. Nicotine temporarily removes withdrawal symptoms and the cycle restarts. I thought it was helping my unease but it was enabling it.
It kept me stagnant even if I was productive. It made me analyze my movements and actions instead of just flowing, since the next hit was in the back of my mind.
All of the negatives listed at the beginning of this outweigh the cycle. I wasn’t experiencing things fully present and it made me appreciate them less: Food, people, breathing, working out, drawing, studying, work, reading, music, shows, movies.. Even mundane tasks.
Today’s day and age everything seems like it’s a grand decision. Sometimes it’s a quiet Saturday Night, and it still matters.