Feeling stupid as an immigrant working as a bookseller
So I moved countries and had a lot of luck finding a job as a bookseller. It was hard to learn and adapt because the books that I grew up with were different from the ones we are selling/ are popular or considered classics. I still love bookshops and books so I wasn't completely useless, but I went from nothing to the manager of the children's room which is basically a small shop on itself. So I had to learn and memorise all 15 sub sections.
Now I'm back as a normal part of the staff, working more in the till, but I didn't get trained properly at the beginning so there's some things that escape my knowledge even when I've been there for a year now.
The thing is, my coworkers and manager want me to know everything without haven't had a proper training. When I ask questions they look at me as I am dumb; it looks like there's no room for mistakes and they keep talking bad about other people that makr mistakes or don't know absolutely every book that we sell, therefore I suspect that they do that with me. I do manage a small section but because they keep putting me in stupid places I end up not being able to properly learn. Then I keep thinking about how stupid and useless I am that I end up being it.
Another thing is that I sometimes don't catch the names of titles/authors/costumers right because at the end of the day it's my second language and the way they sound don't come naturally to me so I'm just there having to make the costumer write the name in a piece of paper because I didn't get it, when ot comes so naturally to my coworkers.
Overall I just feel like I'm taking space but then nobody corrects me and when they do it's in a very bad way, again as if I was stupid. My manager repeats me what she just say to me several times.
I've never felt as stupid as I do working there. I've always had the highest grades and I'm a very curious person so I just like to learn all the time. Also, I never expect them to know everything, not from my section, but then I do expect from myself to know every book that exists in the world. Just felt like having a small rant, thank you if you read the whole thing.