I just need a reality check here. I’m a therapist who wants to be in therapy, but keep getting the “ick” after a few sessions with my therapist. The major issues for me tend to be timeliness and … unbelievably… eating in during sessions. My therapists have tended to regularly run 10-15 minutes late to sessions and it just irks me. I’m able to make it to my clients’ sessions on time, why can’t they?? They will offer to add the time at the end, but often I don’t have time to add at the end. I don’t think I should have to plan my appointments around the possibility that I need to add 10-15 minutes at the end of the hour that I block off for therapy. The last therapist I terminated with over tardiness knew this was something I was sensitive to because I shared my frustration about it, and she still showed up late. By the time she signed on to the call I was so frustrated I didn’t feel like I was in a good headspace for therapy so I told her I didn’t want the appointment anymore. She said she was disappointed and hoped I would stay on the call to work through these feelings with her. The thing is, I’m coming to therapy to work on OTHER difficult relationships in my life, and I don’t have the bandwidth to work on what feels like a manufactured issue with a stranger. I just don’t need that right now!
The other issue is eating. One therapist I had literally ate a whole apple during our session. Not cut up, but biting into the whole apple. Cut up still would have been bad, but I find the whole apple chomping just especially offensive. Most recently, I met with a therapist who I felt was promising and really got along with her. Last time we met she ate a protein bar. She bit off little bites at a time with her fingers and kept the bar out of the screen, but I could still see and hear what she was doing and it was distracting. I know some might advise to have a conversation with with them about this, but I don’t feel I should have to spend my therapy time, that I’m paying for, to teach them just basic professionalism.
Anyways, since both of these scenarios have happened more than once ( I’ve terminated with 2 therapists for habitually running late and 2 therapists for eating during our session) I’m wondering if I just need a reality check here? Are these behaviors common in this field and just something I need to come to accept? These are things that as a therapist myself, I would never dream of doing. I will occasionally sip water or coffee (controversial, I know) but would never eat during a session with a client. I’ve been practicing for 6 years and can count on 1 hand the times I’ve been more than 3 minutes late - rarely EVER. Help me gain some perspective please!