My “friend” started dating my ex boyfriend at the beginning of April. (as far as I know) For context, my ex and I broke up in January after being together for 4 years.
The way I found out was her posting him sitting across from her at a restaurant with a heart emoji on her Instagram story. I saw it the morning after it was posted. Devastation doesn’t even begin to describe what I felt. It has been indescribably awful. She was someone I wholeheartedly trusted, and someone I believed was loyal and genuine.
When I saw that post, I was so distraught that I literally collapsed on the floor hyperventilating. I couldn’t get up, couldn’t talk, couldn’t do anything but lay there and sob. I genuinely couldn’t process how that could even be reality.
The next night, still completely devastated, I decided to block her. Once she realized, she got extremely angry. She called me from a different number (not sure who's). I answered without knowing it was her. She asked why I blocked her, and as soon as I heard that, I hung up and blocked that number to.
It didn’t stop there. She then texted me from an iMessage email, going off on me saying it was fucked up to block her without explanation and that she’s been very “upset” about it. I blocked her again.
After that, she started talking shit about me. I got a message request on Instagram from her cousin calling me a bunch of names and guilt tripping me for “ghosting” her, saying "that's what Narcissists do." It was a VERY long message just shaming and insulting me.
I still didn’t engage because the combination of her dating my ex, spamming me, talking about me, and showing a side of her I didn’t even know existed, was overwhelming. What finally pushed me to respond was her contacting my sister. That’s when I lost the ability to stay silent. I texted her
"I don't owe you an explanation. It's self explanatory. You know exactly why I blocked you. Stop attempting to gaslight me. Stop contacting me. Leave my family alone."
Then I blocked her again but she still didn’t stop. She kept finding ways to contact me, acting completely oblivious. After multiple attempts, I finally replied "You're dating my ex. I don't want to be friends anymore."
She responded with "so u expect me to break up with him? u need a reality check he is ur ex it shouldnt matter to u who he's with bc he has nothing to do with u anymore ppl move on im sorry i didn't tell u but who im in a relationship with is my business and my choice. we have been friends for 6 years and what ur doing hurts"
I replied "I never once told you to leave him. The only thing I've told you is to leave me alone. I am not interested in being your friend anymore. I am not okay with you dating him and you can't demand me to be. Your perspective is not mine. You have no regard for how this has affected me. Stop contacting me."
Did she stop? No. I don’t even know what else to do at this point. I’ve made myself clear. I feel completely betrayed and honestly disgusted that she’s dating him. I’m not over him, and she knows that. She saw firsthand how much the breakup hurt me and knows the bad things that happened.
But she will not leave me alone, and it’s making everything worse.
I’ve cried way too much over this. I just want her to stop contacting me. I don’t want to have to change my number or deactivate all my accounts just to get peace. Muting unknown callers risks missing important calls.
So at this point, all I can really do is ignore everything and hope it eventually stops and it is stressful.